I lost my grandad (who was more like my dad as he raised me with my nanna from 6 months old) in November suddenly (I also lost my nanna 5 years ago suddenly) I think everything caught up to me after trying to carry on as normal because I had a complete mental breakdown and went into a deep depression. I’m now going through my doctor to get some therapy and I am taking prescription antidepressants. Lots of people have warned me about antidepressants and my family are worried I will become to reliant on them but they are the only thing that’s making me able to function at the moment and feel somewhat normal. I will admit by taking the antidepressants it’s put a wall up to the grief and pain I was feeling and it’s kind of like it never really happened because I don’t really feel much of anything anymore but for me not feeling anything is much better than feeling the pain I was before, I literally felt like I couldn’t breath it hurt so much. The thing that I’m worried about really is that if and when I do have to stop taking the medication I will go back to that grief ridden person I was and I really don’t want to be taking medication for the rest of my life but like I said it’s the only thing that allows me to function at the moment.