Anxiety after death of both parents

I lost my Dad in 2016 and had major anxiety problems a year later, I have just lost my Mum in sept 2018 a year later I am currently suffering with anxiety. This is the first time I have ever posted anything like this. I have been looking for a community that is appropriate to get feedback and advice on. My mum was my rock through my Dads death, but know I don’t have anyone. I don’t want to put my wife under anymore pressure so tend not to let her know how I truly feel. The anxiety is crippling me…I have visited my GP with mixed and an really looking for anyone with a similar experience or any advice on how to deal with this as I said my Mum helped through my dads death this time around I feel totally lost…

Hi Ian

What a terrible time you’ve had in the last couple of years.
It may help to your wife , surely she’d want the chance to support you at this difficult time?
That’s what marriages are about helping and supporting your loved ones whatever comes along.
I wish my partner has shared his thoughts with me before his death. I won’t go into details here but I’ve been left with so many unanswered questions because he kept things to himself and maybe he thought I wouldn’t want to know or he didn’t want to worry me.
Not telling her may even increase your anxiety.
I hope you find some support on this site. Take care Jx

Hello Ian
You don’t know how glad I was to read your post today I could have written it myself. I know exactly how you feel as I am the same. I lost my rock my dad 10 years ago and became a carer overnight for my lovely mum my best friend. She had picks dementia. My husband left me as I wanted to care for mum at home. I was at rock bottom. Have no kids and had 5 miscarriages. Felt totally alone. Thank god a friend encouraged me to look on a dating thing and I met my now husband. He is my only support. Mum died 2 years ago after a long battle with her dementia. I was at her side daily willing her to live to be ok and was on high alert to all she needed. Since mum died I sort of went numb for the first 6 months and then the severe anxiety has kicked in and it’s bad. I have palpitations panic attacks chest pain have been to A&E several times convinced I’m having a heart attack. I’m terrified of illness suffering and death. The slightest thing will set me off and I feel some days I can’t cope which isn’t my nature at all. I am a look on the bright side of life type person usually but I cannot get myself out of this. I am now having bereavement counselling which is helping but it’s very emotionally draining. The panic attacks continue the racing heart the sheer dread of disaster and death. When I’m not well or my husband isn’t I go into overdrive convinced this is it our time is up. Over reacting is my forte these days. I have even had to use the paper bag trick to calm myself. I see the GP who take my blood pressure and of course it’s sky high as is my pulse as every visit to a doctor convinced me I’m very ill. I’ve become a hyoochondriac. I’m terrified of being alone of having nobody and feels nobody really cares except my husband but like you I try to hide it a bit as it worries him. I feel friends don’t really care and are not there unconditionally when it matters. Only mum and dad were and it’s all gone. I’m sorry to sound negative but wanted to explain you’re not alone. My counsellor told me anxiety is a natural part of grief which I didn’t expect at all. It’s awful and unless you have been there it’s hard to understand. Feel free to message me any time. Just wanted to say believe me you aren’t alone. Take care.

Back to top