Since my soulmate died in July, I find myself isolating from society just the thought of seeing people gives me a feeling of complete panic, I’ve even started taking my dogs out at stupid o’clock so I don’t need to see anyone, I’ve turned down meals at my kids houses because of it ,I was never a social butterfly but I used to associate with people and go out shopping etc I’m thankful for home delivery. At this moment the thought of seeing people terrified me please tell me it will get better
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It will get better, your in the rawness of grief but it will pass and you’ll be able to go out and about in the future.
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So sorry for your loss it’s a tough path to walk and I can understand how you must feel, it’s still early days talk to a friend about how you feel and ask to see your GP they can help too. Take care x
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Hello @Milomurphy
It is still early days for you so try not to beat yourself up, be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. It will take time and as long as you need. It’s really good that you are venturing out with the dogs even if it is at stupid o’clock…you are still doing it.
Do you have a trusted friend, or maybe one of your sons, that could come to you for a coffee a couple of times a week? As time goes on, you could add a little wander out for 10 minutes during ‘normal’ time together as part of their visit. Then once you feel comfortable, slowly increasing the duration you are out or over time as your confidence improves, you may feel able to have a little walk at a normal time by yourself. Doing everything gradually, baby steps is the best way forward to slowly improve your confidence and face society again.
I hope that might help a little bit…wishing you all the best moving forward. x
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Hello @Milomurphy
If you can’t face people at the moment have you tried video calls? This would be a way to ease yourself into meeting in person. And if family or close friends would come to your door, even if you couldn’t face letting them in yet it would be another step forward. I agree that baby steps are important, and always remember that if you try but can’t quite get to that next step yet this is not a failure, you just need a little more time. Please use a counselling service. They can help you get through this really hard time
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So after taking the hounds out around 2.30 this morning, I decided to give them a quick walk around the block in daylight lol, I was only outside fir 10 mins but it felt like forever, first major step taken, thank you all for your wonderful advice
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That’s so good @Milomurphy…there is no ‘only’ about it, you did it, that’s great. Make sure you take it all very gradually, don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Goodness you must need a snooze up at 2.30am.
Go slow & take care x
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Hi Milomurphy
I had a very similar problem to yourself in the first months. I also have dogs so I had to take them out. I walked with my head down so that I didn’t have to speak to anyone. I couldn’t mix with friends. Totally out of character for me as I had never had such a problem before.
I decided that I was going to make myself smile and say good morning to at least three people every morning on my walk and this helped. I didn’t start to socialise overnight but gradually it did become easier although I still don’t want to be in a large group of people.
I’m afraid you have to be brave and make the effort.
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Well done you,you can do it baby steps and a bit long out tomorrow . Be proud of yourself xxx
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