I had been having an affair for two years, my lover, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away 2 months ago, following an operation. I have been overwhelmed with grief, anxiety and depression, I have also been suffering with severe pain from a shoulder injury 4 months ago, and 2 further family bereavements last month. I have to hide my pain for my lover from my husband, and so have been suppressing my tears and feelings at home. I started seeing a counsellor two weeks ago, who pushed me to confront my feelings of love and loss, to face up to the grief, I’ve been so tearful since. I also visited our local pub yesterday, after putting it off for weeks, as I couldnt bear to see the memorial picture of him there and feel the hurt of him not being there, I broke down, but actually felt better for going. However today I have been so damn tearful and depressed, I worry that I am going backwards……
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I’m so sorry for your loss, @Tamarwoman. I’m really glad you have a counsellor you can share your feelings openly with; the community is here for you, too.
Some of our members have shared their experiences of disenfranchised grief, that is, grief which may not be openly acknowledged. You can read some of their posts by clicking this link.
Keep reaching out - you’re not alone.
Grief is a process. We go up and down in the cycle. So don’t be too hard on yourself . I had counselling and it helped so much xx