After losing my husband 8 weeks ago, tomorrow, and somehow fumberling through such a traumatic loss of the person, I love more than anyone else and who I was expecting to spend the rest of my life with. Please can I ask a question.
I am finding that I am becoming more and more anxious. In general I’m okay with my confidence for most things and struggle with a few, like most people, but I am finding that my anxiety seems to be growing out of control.
Today is the first day I went into town. I parked up and just sat in my car. A friend joined me for a while but I became so distracted because if how anxious I felt, I couldn’t wait to get home. It’s like a deep heavy feeling in the pit of my stomache, just thinking about it makes me want to cry.
I couldn’t even use the drill today to repair a sign in the garden and it took me more of an effort not to fall down in a heap and cry than what it took me in the end to put the screws in.
Is anxiety like this part of grief? Does anyone else have it?
That is exactly how I feel. The anxiety stops me doing everyday chores and the grief kind of disables you.
My wife died 3 months ago after a very short violently painful illness and I still feel traumatized.
In our 24 years together she remarked that I was almost OVER confident. That has all gone and confidence is a thing of the past.
When she died, half of me did and it is bloody hard trying to find any meaning in life.
I know exactly what you mean. It’s horrific. I struggle some days at finding reason to carry on because I just miss him so much. I sometimes wonder how long I can cope with such heartbreaking loss.
I carry on for my sons because I couldn’t put the through anymore loss. But it scares me just how low you feel sometimes and at those lowest of times you can’t help but wonder what the point is of living on.
Since my husband passed away I feel anxious a lot of the time also lost my confidence
Anxiety can cause lots of problems with our health,I have now started taking antidepressants,something I said I wouldn’t do but I’m hoping they will calm me down a little every day is such a struggle didn’t realise grief was so painful
Hello
I do think this seems to be quite a common problem. I feel anxious when I go anywhere even places like the supermarket where I’ve gone on my own for the last 3 years because of my husband being poorly. Everything I do just feels different now I’m on my own just don’t have the same confidence.
We have to try and build our confidence up but it’s still very early days so suppose we have to be patient with ourselves. Take care x
My anxiety has also skyrocketed. I wake up with it and it’s there all day. I have lost confidence like you Karen and if a neighbour chats to me I often break down. The tears just seem to come from nowhere. I don’t go food shopping I order on line from Asda. At the moment the only time I go out alone is to walk the dog. When my sister calls she makes me go for coffee or walking It’s a very lonely life that we are all living. The only good thing I have found is some solace in finding this forum and knowing others are feeling as I do. I have as if I am going mad some days but this site gives me comfort. Thank you x
When I lost my Husband 5yrs ago I didn’t leave the house except for the Supermarket and doctors appointments for 6months. And even then I was never alone. All of a sudden I had gone from chasing trains in large train stations at midnight on my own to being too anxious to go anywhere by myself. It was like my surroundings were huge and I’d shrunk. I felt like an alien visiting earth for the first time. It’s really not that difficult to get in that situation. In December I lost my Mum and again, I’m not leaving the house either in the day or alone. I’m not sure if I’m anxious of people or just the feeling of a general vulnerability. I would just rather hide. My heart pounds and my legs feel weak and wobbly. Anxiety is so disabling. Take care all.
Hi Karenlouise I am further on than you, nearly nine months but I get what you are saying , my anxiety just keeps getting worse. Can barely eat with the knot in my stomach and worry about absolutely everything. I used to like to cook but I can’t do that anymore, I just drop things and knock things over all the time and mess up recipes I have been doing for years. I have also got rid of my car because I am too anxious to drive anymore. I tried anti depressants but they did not work and am afraid I will have to try the doctor again, but that’s if I can face all that phoning and then trying to explain on the phone when I can barely string two words together anymore. There does not seem to be any point to anything anymore so I just give up trying. Jss xX
I feel the same. I woke this morning and then the anxiety started. I have had to take diazepam. I too feel very vulnerable and afraid. I feel I have lost the control and safety I once had. I am fearful and scared unless I’m with my sister x
Morning, oh boy it makes me feel better to think I’m not going nuts with the anxiety I am having, and that I’m not the only one. We are all in such an awful place with no fix. We just miss our loved ones and the fact they aren’t here isn’t going to change. Thank you all for sharing your stories on here as there is some comfort in realising others understand what you are going through.
Having spent my whole life as a confident, outgoing person, I feel I have had all the stuffing knocked out of me since Lynn died. 24 hour anxiety and depression are something I never thought would happen to me - how wrong I was.
This feels like a pointless existence but I promised her I would carry on because she ordered me to!
I agree this is a pointless existence,my husband passed away 19 weeks ago on Sunday,I remain heartbroken always will,I now worry about everything no confidence awful anxiety
Ihave lost my Protector my wonderful husband,never lived on my own before, we met when very young,
Never thought I would have to live in this nightmare miss him so much
Yes I would agree with everything that has been said.I was widowed nearly six years ago but remember this well .I did get my mojo back but since losing my Mum in lockdown it has gone again .I think we just have to hold on tight and doing the best you can is ok
My problem coming home to a empty house
No smell of food cooking!
The gentle waft of perfume as gone
Emptiness silence and cold
The only sound is in my head
A constant screaming shouting that only I can hear resulting in tears
Standing in the shower , head against the wall with tears falling mixed in with water from above
But somehow something tells me to carry on
Grief and anxiety are so cruel and will be with me always like a tidal wave of emotions every day
Steve.h
I understand everything you have wrote,it’s heartbreaking coming home to an empty house,not that I go out much now
Since my husband passed away I never feel like cooking proper meals my husband Steve always enjoyed them
The anxiety and stress is very painful,I have lost my confidence ,never lived on my own before it’s a nightmare
Christine I’ve never been on my own either
The last 12 months I’ve spent more time at work than home nothing to come home too
But I don’t want to give in because Tracy wouldn’t want me too x
I have this horrible debilitating anxiety. I take antidepressants for my mental health. I feel there is a stigma if you tell people and I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I feel weak because I can’t cope with the stressors of life like others do. X
Nel
You are not weak you are grieving,my husband passed away 19 weeks Tomorrow I’m also on antidepressants something I Always said I wouldn’t do,but my anxiety beat me hoping they help a little bit
It’s five months since I lost my husband of 46 years and I know exactly what you mean. I’m fine in the confines of my own home but as soon as I have to go out I get very anxious. People say it gets better with time - I’m feeling slightly better but it looks like it will be a long job!
Heartfelt sympathy
x