Any advice on coping please

I lost my Dad on 17 December 2020 and since then have been struggling with overwhelming emotions and grief. I went back to work the week after his funeral ( 12th Jan )but after 3 days was evident it was too soon. I got a sick note for 2 weeks and are due back next week but don’t feel much better than I did then and don’t seem to have emotional resilience to deal with normal life stresses. Equally being at home I am conscious maybe I am dwelling on things and feeling more isolated. I live with my husband and have 2 children but even so it feels lonely. Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Joanne,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Having lost my dad I know some of the emotions you must be feeling. It is very early days and you are still in shock and it all seems unreal at the moment. Take each day as it comes and let the tears flow, you will go up and down, with so many thoughts running through your head. I hope you can get support from friends, and talk about your feelings, don’t hold it all in, I know how you feel alone, but all the people on here will understand what you are going through and want to support you and help you through it. I lost my husband just 8 weeks ago and am finding every day a struggle at the moment. I don’t have any children only my dog who is making me get out every day to walk her, which helps. The lockdown makes everything so much worse too, not being able to meet friends. Take care of yourself and I hope your memories of your dear dad will be of some comfort to you.

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Dear Joanne, I am so sorry for your loss, everybody deals with it so differently, all I would say is try talking to your husband, as much a you can, even though you will cry a lot, your husband is your soul mate and always there to comfort you, it will get better it just takes time and if you are not ready for work then don’t go, I lost my Husband on the 5th Nov he was my soul mate and my carer, and now I too feel so lost, and find it so hard to bear, just try to keep talking to your husband, I wish I had mine here, I am totally devastated, and finding it so difficult, even thou I have threes sons but unfortunately they live such a long way away, but I have tried to get help, and think I may have to go stay with one of my sons for a few days, as being totally on my own and disabled is proving to much, It will get easier, I know how devastated I was when I lost my parents, but my husband was a great help, keep talking God Bless

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Thank you both for your kind words , . I am sorry for your devastating loss too. I appreciate your advice and hope you also can get comfort and support from people close to you, as you navigate your way through this complex journey we are on .

Hi @Joanne10 am sorry for your loss. Am not going to lie, upcoming times will be really hard. There may be times where everything falls apart and nothing makes sense. Times where waking up from bed may be tough. All the memories will flood in. Time doesn’t heal this pain completely. It gets manageable. One day when you look back it will hurt less. When i feel like sharing or talking with my death siblings, i used to write them in note or sent messages to their social media accounts i know i won’t get back messages but it feels better. You aren’t alone in this. Take your time and stay strong :white_heart:

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Thank you x

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Hi Joanne10
Your post resonated with me, I lost my mum to covid on 12th Dec 2020. I went back to work after Christmas and cannot concentrate on my work now, it all seems so unimportant.

Hi Joanne10 Sorry i sent my first message too quickly! Dont feel you are dwelling on things, its still very soon after you lost your Dad, I too am filled with feelings of sadness and loss, I cant sleep or function very well. Try and be kind to yourself, little treats that give you comfort , our lives change so much after the passing of a parent, however we can only try to adjust and live the best we can. Sending you love and hugs . Shelley

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Thank you Shelley. Your message means a lot and reassured me that what I am feeling is quite normal in the circumstances and there are other people in a similar situations . So sorry you have lost your Mum too. It’s so terribly sad and it must be so hard given that ‘Covid’ and talk of it seems to be every where you turn. I hope you are coping and finding comfort from happy memories of your mum and that you are also being kind to yourself . Sending love and hugs to you too . Joanne x

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