Since my dad’s died I am suffering from severe anxiety, I keep thinking I’m going to loose someone else and constantly worrying who it will be and when I think my partner is going to leave and drive myself daft for signs he is off or can’t deal with me people say it’s normal as it’s early days but after and incrediably anxious night I just wondered if anyone else feels this way.
Hi Wease,
Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, was it sudden? It must have been devastating, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling anxious.
I’m glad that you have found this site and have taken the step of being able to share how you feel here - our users are very supportive and understand what it is like to lose a loved one. I think it would also be very helpful for you to visit your GP, as they can advise you, refer you to therapy, and help you manage your anxiety.
We have other users here who have been struggling with anxiety. Hopefully, you will get some supportive replies soon, but while you wait, you may find it helpful to read and reply to some conversations between others who have experienced the same problems, for example:
https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement/anxiety
https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement/feeling-overwhelmed
https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/medication
You may also wish to contact Cruse Bereavement Care, who offer a free helpline (0808 808 1677) and local support groups. You can find more information on their website: http://www.cruse.org.uk/
If there is anything else I can help with, or you have any questions about using this site, just let me know.
Best wishes.
Irene
Thank you I have been to g.p and referred myself to cruise, it was very sudden he was found at home I will have a look at those threads thank you
Dear Wease, I too suffer from severe anxiety, my husband died very suddenly last August. I went to the doctor and they gave me some anxiety medication short term. I am going to try meditation as I have to do something. I think it is quite normal to be so fearful after losing someone so suddenly as it is the shock.
I am sure quite a few of us on this site suffer this.
Best wishes
Annie
Thank you I just keep planning everyone else’s death in my head including mine and worrying about loosing everything dear to me, I feel all panicky from it all, the gp has given me a sleeping tablet which helps for now I need to go back in 2 weeks , I have also have thought of meditation and walking helps me as well. Sorry for your loss.
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Yes me I suffer terrible with anxiety since losing my mum I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD aswell because I watched her suffer when she died it is normal to have anxiety when you lose a love one.mines called health anxiety though because I lost my mum the way I did every pain or niggle I have I automatically think I’m dying or I have a terminal illness sounds Cray Cray but it’s awful to live with.
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I feel the same I have always had a degree of health anxiety as did my dad and had a lot of cancer in my life last year so that’s been all around me and constantly worrying I’m going to get that then my dad died of a stroke suddenly so that’s on my mind aswell I’m constantly worrying about everything and everyone I have two ailments at the moment and I’m worried I’m next , I have superstition thoughts of people dying in threes and wondering who’s next it’s constant. I’m sorry for your loss and I’m sorry you also have this worry and anxiety take care
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Hi wease
It’s horrible isn’t it I’ve also had a lot of death and people dying of cancer around me too my mum died of pancreatic cancer my best friend the same cancer as my mum then my uncle he had myeloid leukaemia and now my dad stage 4 copd.it is awful I’m so the same my husband and daughter smoke so I keep fretting about them getting copd or lung cancer I also am very superstitious who believes in threes too.my therapist told me it’s normal to feel like that because of what we lost and in such awful ways aswell and that it will ease in time I hope so I can’t carry on like this the rest of my life.im 42 and I don’t do anything or go anywhere because of this.my daughter has just left home it’s mine and my hubby time but I can’t get passed this anxiety xx
It’s awful I lost my friend of lung cancer and two members of my partners family last year and his mum has terminal lung cancer now to I constantly think of the worse cases of things that can happen and how I’m
Going to cope and I can’t stop it, my dad was young only 60 he had health anxiety to and went to the doctors in the week he died I’m all he had so much to sort and I’m sick of all the phone calls forms etc, they don’t no the day he died so I feel guilty imagining the worse it’s so traumatic, thank you for talking to me sending you strength , I haven’t been out much since he died on the 30th just short walks have helped me had a bad night before registering the death was awake all night with anxiety, it’s lessened today until other appointments this week then the funeral it’s just all to much sending you a hug x
Hi Wease,
I lost my mum in Oct 16 very suddenly and just 3 days after having my first baby.
I’m constantly scared that something awful will happen to the baby or my boyfriend.
I think it’s understandable that we’d feel this way.
I’ve recently been referred for some bereavement counselling which I’m hoping will help.
Perhaps having someone external to talk to would help you too? I always feel I’m being a nuisance when I want to talk about it
To my boyfriend or friends (although I’m sure they don’t think that!) so I’m actually looking forward to letting it all out to a counsellor.
Always here to talk.
Helen xx
Thanks helen sorry for your loss must have been so hard to cope with, with the demands of a baby so sad. Yes started cruise last week its helping slightly but still constantly worried about who’s going next whether it’s me will I get ill etc , the doctor said it’s normal to a degree so I guess maybe in time it improves! I still get anxious just trying to focus on little things for myself and little goals to keep me on track day by day, got so much practical stuff to sort still and in a way it keeps me going worried about what’s next after that’s all done I guess you have to focus on one bit at a time and one stage at a time , let me no how your councelling goes to, thanks for your reply if you want to talk please contact me also take care
Dear all
I really sympathise and can certainly identify. My father died suddenly in an accident and I suffered from such anxiety about something happening to my Husband that it destroyed my marriage (So I lost the second person I loved anyway). if he was 20 mins late he’d get home to find me in hysterics, we argued about it all the time and in the end he couldn’t cope with me needing to know he was OK all the time. Now he has moved out and I am finding it easier but I am sure that my father’s death triggered this anxiety in me. I wish you all the best
Sorry to hear that and I’m sorry about your dad, I do understand how you feel I’m constant let worried and anxious when the phone rings I automatically think the worse I’ve always been a bit like it but since my dad died it’s gotten way way worse Im going to try cbt from a book to see if that helps. It’s an awful feeling try and be kind to yourself easier said than done as I hate myself for feeling this way and constantly want to be “normal” here anytime nice to hear from you
Since my son died in august 2015 I’ve felt anxious and restless much of the time . I used to read a lot but now I find I can’t read more than a few pages without losing interest or becoming distracted . I work part time which helps take my mind of things for a bit but not for long . I like sleeping partly because of the dreams I have , not always about Nick but mainly returning from a holiday . The dreams are sometimes fraught but not wholly unpleasant . I try to find things to occupy myself when I’m not working but that’s exhausting in itself . I’ve got some good friends who I do normal things with and we don’t talk about what happened which helps to make me feel normal but I know I’m not . I don’t want to take medication . I’ve got my other son who I need to stay strong for , and I will . I hope it will get easier as time goes by but I’m not banking on it . Nicks death has given me a better appreciation of life and death . Life is transitory and doesn’t last very long even if you live your allotted so you shouldn’t take it too seriously or plan too far ahead , and you should try as much as you can to squeeze every bit of pleasure out of it when you can because the good bits generally don’t last very long and you don’t know what’s round the corner . I retain a positive outlook , I don’t know how or why sometimes because I’ve had a lot of death in my family starting at an early age and including my own dad’s death when I was 17 but I guess that’s partly genetic . I try to see the best in people and I want people to be happy because most lives at some point are affected by tragedy . When I eventually die I won’t mind because I do believe in a life after this one .
Oh goodness I can relate to this. My mum died in July and my anxiety has got worse over the last week or so. I couldn’t even face walking the dog but managed it today. Can’t face going back to her house to remove sentimental items which needs to be done so the house can be cleared for sale. Solicitors are executors and adding to my stress. GP put me on antidepressants but side effects so horrible stopped them. Have counselling end of November but scared how I’ll manage till then. Sorry for waffling on but really need some support right now. Thank you x