If any of my posts have caused distress then please accept my sincere apologies. I understand the offending posts have been removed. Thank you Admin!! Quite right!
I often feel angry and irritable, and I suspect we all do from time to time. I am not making excuses. There can be no excuse for upsetting anyone. My post was not good and I also apologise to Bristles. He is right. We do what we do in bereavement which is a personal thing. Perhaps we can begin again on a happier note! Hey Bristles?
I like this website and the kind folk on it. I have had comfort from all the posts and I would not want to leave. OK Admin? Lesson learned.


Apology accepted, thank you.

No offence was intended to anyone but when stones are thrown I retaliate. It’s okay now.


Hi. Bristles. I agree. Yes, it’s Ok now. Just put it down to my state of mind. These are very difficult times, and I must confess, half the time I’m in a bit of a daze. Best wishes.

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Jonathan I have found you nothing but inspirational, helpful, kind and so much more. You have made me see things in a different light when I have been at my lowest. You have helped me and I would think so many others. To me you have made sense and I cannot believe that you could ever offend. In your dazed state you have still been there to encourage others with no self pity… From me a big thankyou. Pat xxx

Dear Jonathan, just wanted to add my personal thanks to you, for your support when replying to my posts throughout the six months I have used this forum.
I picked this one from you, because it was just before Christmas 2018; I’m not going to write here and now how I felt…I am still working on acceptance and understanding the past is the past for a reason. However, kindness and love are the greatest gifts and paying it forward, can salve the wounded heart, x

Hi. Rainbow. You know your profile name gives hope. After the rainbow and the storm things change. The past is gone and although our departed loved ones are never far from our thoughts, we do have to carry on, especially if we have responsibilities. The love in your heart will sustain you. Nothing whatever can interfere with, diminish or exclude genuine love. Unconditional love is beyond words, and when we really love someone then death has no meaning. You can’t cancel out love, which means it goes on past this life and we meet again to continue that love. It’s what I believe and I become more sure every day. I listened to Beethoven’s sixth symphony,The Pastoral, last night and it’s so symbolic of peace, then the storm, then the tranquillity of the aftermath. I found it helpful.

Thank you so much for your kind remarks. My moment of aberration is passed!!!
But it has brought home to me how moods can swing so drastically in a short time. Just when we think we are beginning to improve, WHAM! Something ‘triggers’ off a bout of low feeling. It’s a very complex business this grief. I read somewhere it’s like standing at the sea shore and, as the tide comes in, we are up to our knees, when it begins to recede it’s only over our ankles. Ebb and flow! But isn’t life like that? Of course, during such times as we are going through so many of the normal ups and downs of life are greatly exaggerated. A sound, a voice, someone crying or otherwise distressed, even the weather can send us off into the old spiral. These events don’t have to be associated with grief. It’s us! Our emotions and feelings are raw, like an open wound. But yes, wounds do heal, given the right treatment.
The only real treatment is time, with as much genuine support as we can get. It’s the little things that add up and help. I do suggest acceptance, though it’s very difficult I know. I drop into my neighbour a couple of times a week for a sherry and a chat. She has been through this and knows.
Best wishes to all.

Has anyone heard Beethoven’s sixth symphony. ‘The Pastoral’? Talking of rainbows made me think of it. It’s truly a lovely piece of music and goes through all the phases of a storm. It begins with folk dances, where all is joyous, then, in the distance, the rumblings of a storm, then the full storm with thunder and lightning, which slowly dies away into such beautiful restful music. It has birdsong and a cuckoo. One can picture woodland and trees swaying in the breeze. It reminds me of life too. The distant storm, an approaching problem. The storm itself, and what we are all now going through. But peace begins to enter. The storm passes and the birds come out singing. The sun appears from behind the clouds and it’s light again. Perhaps, through the dark clouds of grief we may eventually see the sun and hear the birds again. They are there but, for the moment, silent. Let the storm pass.

I to love reading your posts they are thought provoking but also uplifting, and for me personally I need the uplifting, the daily struggle we are all going through is so hard, so if I read something that makes me smile or see sunshine in a storm is warmly welcomed thank ou Jonathan

Hi Jonathan123
Misery is the name of the game on a bereavement site and admin are here to ensure any contradictory positivity is pulled up against those people who wish their life was over following a bereavement which Bristles has constantly related to. Don’t apologise because being human and bereaved does not make you offensive. Your posts are positive and uplifting which for those people looking to see ahead of the pain and heartbreak is a good thing. Being word perfect for the sake of admin is not what bereavement is actually about. No doubt I will be reported but I would rather be truthful and honest than censored and I certainly don’t apologise for wanting to live rather than dwell in the pain and misery bereavement can bring on. It’s a choice and not a punishment. Love from Lyn (a million miles away on an adventure to live my life despite being bereaved)

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Hi. Bristles. I agree. Let’s draw a line under this unfortunate incident and move on. I appreciate the support, but I have admitted I was wrong. I hold no ill will against anyone. I will get back to the main purpose of this site and try and do what we all do so well. Support each other. Blessings to all.


Thank you Johnathan123 at least someone had got sense and courage to stand up and be counted.

Hi Bristles and Jonathan,

Thanks so much for apologising to each other, it is great that you have both been able to draw a line under this and move on. Can I ask the rest of you to please try to do the same? As continuing to argue about it will only detract from people being able to get support.

Sometimes bereaved people need space to talk about dark and negative thoughts, and sometimes they will need to be positive and talk about ways of moving forward (and many people will need both at different times). They are both valid ways of responding to grief, and I hope that there is space for both on this site.

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Hi. Priscilla. Hiccups occur in any organisation and on any website. It’s what overseeing supervision is about, to keep checks on unwanted posts. Thank you all for what you do for us. It can’t be easy to sort out what’s good and what’s not suitable. Best wishes.

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