I lost my mum on 22 December and the heartbreak is terrific and I don’t feel the clinician gave her the best care by not giving her antibiotics so I am in a lifelong torment. I have days or utter sobbing, anger, resentment & bitterness and had a melt down with kicking & punching a clothes horse. The grief is immense it still doesn’t feel real and just going by day to day losing which day I am in. Driving from Home to dad!’’s and not knowing which roads I have travelled! I don’t feel My head is in my body and all Through this being in hospital with mum, if felt like I was sat watching from the outside and that I had no voice to challenge the care mum never got although I fought for her on day one of going in the ward so I feel guilty for not shouting long & hard and so the clinician didn’t listen. I told him
My mum would fight and she did but without medication she became weaker and for that I resent the denial of care for her -certainly not a Dury. Of Care
Hello @Di130522, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. It sounds like you feel she didn’t get the care that she needed and this has only added to your heartbreak.
If you feel it’s something you want to do, you can make a complaint about an NHS service. If you click on the link, it will walk you through the process.
Your loss is still very recent and raw and you will be going through a lot of emotions right now. Most people here have experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through. You might also want to take a look at some of our resources to help you through your grief.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community to be a support to you, and that you can reach out for further support if you need to.
Take good care,
Seaneen
That is exactly what happened to my mum She was starved for 12 days Only water allowed Her medication was taken off here and she wasn’t allowed to have it . Same as you I fought on a daily basis but the hosp just didnt want to know. I also feel so so guilty
Thinking of you
Deborah x
My mum was a real trooper all her life and never gave in to anything. A 3page complaint letter has gone in to the hospital Nine weeks ago and no response. To date! That speaks volumes to me that they not only hurt the patient but hurt the family members. Too. I disagree with End of Life care 200% and have signed a petition. I do intend to take things higher with the consultant who could not make up his mind regards treatment because mum was in Amber - EOL - Amber -EOL, they also lost her clothes, hearing aid and top dentures! Stating we took them - I am afraid no we didn’t. I will not be fobbed off as it suits them.
Hi Di130522,
Aww I really feel for you. I have requested all my mums records to be sent to em and it was a struggle getting through to the right dept to even do that . Am still waiting so will let you know how I get on
Deborah x
I have most of mum’s hospital records apart from
Ins radiology which 2 weeks ago I was told they would look in to reporting in it plus ask for an update on my complaint letter - not heard a thing. I have requested mum’s GP records just in case the hospital has left anything out purely because when I received the hospital records I also received another female patient’s selective surgical pathway!!! That’s classed as a significant event in the NHS (- I work for a GP surgery as secretary) I could be very awkward & phone this other patient asking how her ??? Is. So wrong on all counts. X
That is awful.
Thinking of you
Deborah x