Approaching first year anniversary

Hi, just wondering if other people really struggled with the approach to the first anniversary of losing their loved one,? The 15th July will be a year since my dad passed away and I’m really struggling. It was so sudden and unexpected and I feel like it’s all happening over again. I can’t help but keep reliving the day in my head and I feel like the horrible guilt I felt initially is back with a vengeance. My mum is still struggling too so I can’t turn to her and I feel so alone with my grief. I thought things were getting a little better but I just can’t stop crying. Anyone else out there feeling the same way?


Hi @Keepsmiling1949,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling as you approach the first anniversary of your dad’s death. I’m so sorry to hear about dad.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

We have some information on our website about coping with death anniversaries which you may also find helpful to read: Remembering a loved one: death anniversary | Sue Ryder

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


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Hey - I’m new to the site and your post stuck out to me. Every touch point is an emotional rollercoaster isn’t it. My dads 1 year has just passed too and it wasn’t what I expected- I’d put focus on it and prepared myself for it to be worse. But it was emotionless really it flooded in a week later.

Losing loved ones is a living hell. There are so many factors that go round your head. Sadness for them losing their lives, not being able to speak with them, share with them. My thoughts are with you and I’m sure people say it will get better. You just get used to it. Take care x

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Your post resonated with me hugely.
I had the first anniversary of my mums death in May. For probably 3 weeks plus before the anniversary i was in a real state.
Constantly thinking what i was doing this time a year ago,replaying every day.
Its something i find hard to put into words but i can tell you i absolutely struggled in the weeks leading up to the anniversary so please dont think its weird.
My wife lost her mum 12 years ago and she says its always the build up.
The day kind of passes which a huge heavy sadness but in my experience the build up was horrific.
So nearly 15months on and i also find that most days i will shed a tear for mum,sometimes briefly and sometimes not so briefly.
I wish you all the best on this awful road we have to tread.
Please never think you are alone and thank you so much for sharing.