Thank you Cat x
Today I cried early on but nowhere like the previous days as I listened to some music today and I felt like René was talking to me and it made me feel so calm (I don’t believe in this stuff usually, maybe its just the last of my marbles rolling away!!)
Then our lovely cat that has been such a comfort recently was ill with diarrhoea repeatedly up and down the house, in the end I had to take him to the emergency vet as no appointments. He is sleeping now after a pain relieving injection so I hope he’ll be OK. I think on another day this would had me completely broken in tears but today I managed, I think it was the strength that music this morning gave me.
That gives me hope that you said it started to get easier at work eventually, how on earth have you managed when you have those reminders of him there too… you are amazing… that you also can’t even explain to people why you are upset or talk abouthim openly… urgh I couldn’t do it, I can’t even do much less.
Also in such a demanding job where you are accountable for a project and all the things that involves sounds a lot to keep up with as well as being a mum and grieving.
I totally don’t agree that I am suffering at all more, many times i have thought about your situation to remind myself to try and get a grip and not be so self-pitying. We both have different horrors to deal with and the bottom line is the same, trying to drag ourselves out of this massive hole our lives fell into when our loved one died. Everyone who is here has horrendous grief to try and survive, we all have different stories but that part is the same. I hope we can all do it and it gives me strength to see examples like you.
Goodnight and all the best xxx