It will be a year since I lost you in April darling and I don’t know how I’m still here. You and our pets are the reason I keep going and this site and the wonderful caring people and support I have received on here is what helps me to keep on trying. It feels like it gets harder everyday though, maybe it’s because it’s longer since I saw you,held you,kissed you,heard you say I love you. I can’t let you go and I don’t want to, but I can’t have you either and that’s killing me slowly everyday. My heart my soul my mind every single part of me is crying out for you and in agony withoutyou. I’m so lost and empty baby please come back to me. I’m sorry babe I know you can’t. But I can’t stop wanting you and I miss you so very much it hurts all the time. I don’t know how to do life withoutyou. You were my life and always will be. I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone . How do I keep going when I have lost the other half of me, the best half of me. The woman of my dreams, the woman I love and adore beyond anything and everything. I so want to be with you. But I can’t leave our pets so I have to stay and endure this pain. It’s not just the pain the longing for you, missing you, wanting you, needing you, it doesn’t stop, how will I ever get used to living with this and withoutyou. All I know is I’m so deeply in love with you and love you with all my heart and soul and always will. All I want is you and you are the only person I have ever needed. You touched my heart and life in a way no one ever had. You knew me like no one ever did or ever will and you loved me through all my faults. I truly believe we were meant to be together. Two hearts and souls joined as one. There is no beauty or joy left in this world for me withoutyou. I will love you all my life and carry you with me. Until we meet again my beautiful darling pauline xxxxx
gosh what love … I am sorry it is gone. but you were so lucky to have such depth and understanding.
Dear Casey, You have so eloquently echoed my feelings and thoughts. I lost my soulmate 5+ months ago…and I still miss him terribly…I cry every morning as our dog and I hold each other, hug each other, kiss each other and commiserate in our deep pain and feelings of loss. Similar to you, our dog is probably the only reason I’m still breathing on this earth…I can’t abandon her. What would she do ? My deep pain of grief seems to have become more intense as the fog of shock is slowly wearing off. Almost every day, I experience grief ‘attacks’ when this extraordinary feeling starts in the pit of my stomach and races up towards my head…a silent scream…and the never-ending tears flow in buckets. Casey, I understand your pain and grief so well. I guess that all we can do is to try and survive with what strength we have and relive all our wonderful memories …vivid memories of the time we were so fortunate to have spent together with our soulmates.
@berit hello berit thank you and yes I was very lucky to have been loved by such a kind gentle loving beautiful woman and I will cherish all we shared for the rest of my days. My darling is Gone but the love isn’t. It lives in me and is eternal.
@Pipsi dear pipsi I am so deeply sorry for your loss its so heartbreaking when we lose our soulmates. We have a dog who is 13 and 2 cats who are 4 they give me a reason to get up everyday and to keep trying . As you say we have to keep going for our soulmates and our pets who are also missing our other half’s. I find I’m living in the past a lot remembering things we did and said. Memories are so bitter sweet, sweet because there were so many amazing beautiful times and the love that was shared, bitter because we lost them and can’t make any more memories together. Though the memories we have and the loved we shared with our soulmates will always be with us and I believe it gives us strength to keep muddling through each day. I also understand your pain and grief. I do hope you get some moments of peace though I know its not easy as I haven’t managed to have any yet apart from when I’m asleep unless I dream. I had a dream where it was all a mistake and she was still here and I woke up calling out to her, the third time I called her name it hit me again that she was gone. I’m often around if you want to chat. I don’t sleep to well. You will find lots of support here from caring people who understand. Also I believe we carry our soulmates and their love with us and that gives me a little comfort to keep her safe within my heart and as long as we are alive they will never be forgotten. Take care sending hugs x
Another beautiful, eloquent piece of writing Casey, straight from your heart to Pauline’s.
Time is nothing in losing our soul mates, it doesn’t matter if it’s days, weeks, months, years, our love for them will burn as brightly now as it did then, irrespective of how long it is.
We will carry on, as there is no option, but we will do so while keeping their love inside our hearts and souls forever.
Thinking of you and your beautiful pets Casey. Take care of yourself for them, for Pauline & for you.
I truly understand how you feel, as do all of us on this sad path.
Love, Janey xx
@JaneyS hi janey thank you for your kind words. You are right time is irrelevant as we miss them all the time. And they will always be with us in our hearts souls and thoughts. And as you say our love for them will always burn brightly. It really does help talking on here to people who understand. You take care janey sending love and hugs x
Got to say I agree losing someone you have grown with is so very hard to take . Carole and and I were in our teens when we met and loved each other at first glance ,we married in 1979 when she was 19 and I 20 ,I’m 63 now and the intervening year we grew and our love still remained as blessed as it was when we first met.
It’s hard on a daily basis to see any point of getting up but I do and struggle to come to terms with her loss ,but I know that’s what Carole would want me to do get on with life but very hard without her.
Wishing everyone well
John
@mcbear hi John I am so very sorry you lost carole. It is so hard losing our soulmates. I do hope you have support around you. You take care
Hi Casey, I’m very tired today so will keep this short and answer you more tomorrow. For me, the triggers to my emotional pain lie in the memories whether they be visual memories of events or phrases/words that were specific to my soulmate…he loved making up ‘silly’ ‘nicknames’ for things. These expressions will suddenly pop into my head for no apparent reason…and they make me miss him again and again. Talk to you soon…be strong/hang in there…as ‘they’ say (‘they’ who don’t really know/understand but mean well),
Hi mcbear, I do so agree with your words. You must have enjoyed a wonderful life with Carole…so special. I agree it’s so hard to face every new day…it is indeed a difficult struggle. If I didn’t have our sweet dog, Minky to hug and take on walks…I’m not sure how I would soldier on. I’m old…77 years in fact,…and my soulmate and I were together for 28 wonderful years. It’s been 5+ months since he suddenly died without warning…and I’m still unable to accept that he’s dead. Take care…Pipsi