Ashes who has the right?

My partner passed away suddenly 8th nov, im really struggling expecially since new year. Now i have his bio kids asking for their share of the ashes! To which iv told them ik not and cannot split the ashes its not moral but however if and when i scatter them we shall all have some enough for jewellery. This thye will not accept and said they have a rihnt aswell, shame they didnt care about him this much when he was alive! But we werent married where do i stand does any1 know? I organised the funeral and paid for it all the ashes i were told were mine i was the client and therefore mome to do as i wish



Hi i totally understand what you are saying. I dont know the answer but i would imagine as the ashes have been given to you, it is for you to decide what you want doing with them. It may cause nastiness with his kids but as ive found with my stepchildren thats a given anyway especially if there is money involved.
I allowed Mikes kids to have a small jewellery box size of ashes each but i hated it. I didnt want to give him away to them. Especially as since Mike died end of October his 2 eldest kids have been nasty and threatening. His Son hadn’t spoken to his Dad in 14 months.
I think you do what you feel best. If you want to keep the ashes all together for now just say so and dont be swayed.
Good luck

Jane x



I totally understand what your saying & how you feel but if your willing to split the ashes for jewellery then maybe give that amount to them now?

It will stop them in there tracks & make them easier to deal with going forward? & even though the relationship may have been distant lately they will have many happy memories with there dad & possibly want there own special place for his ashes?

He was there father & they will be grieving, the decision is yours & these are only my thoughts, it maybe the time to be gracious & kind.

1 Like

Hi Vivz

Lost my partner 29th November we asked the undertaker to split the ashes between myself and his mum. If they wanted some of the ashes they should have mentioned this before the funeral not fair on you. It is not the thing that you can split them now all you can say is you will be scattering them where you want to unless there is a common place that you would all like to scatter them. As you say where were they before all the best Anne x

1 Like

My partner and I were not married and did not we live together but we’re we’re together 23yrs made a will few yrs back we put it in our wills where ours ashes were to go.
He passed away 25 th November 22
But i Found this on the internet not sure if it will help you.

Back to top