Automatic Pilot

I immediately went to tell my husband the news that Shane Warne had died today……… my husband died four weeks ago! When I was walking our dogs yesterday, I called out his name, I was going to tell him to look at the dogs! I am in so much pain, how do I, for that split second, seem to forget he has gone!


Hi Lynnrd123,
So sorry for your loss.
I am relatively new on here too, my wonderful Pete passed away 15 weeks ago today, very suddenly when he was jogging,
He was 59 and very fit it was completely out of the blue. Hearing about Shane Warne last night I was thinking that his family are about feel all the sadness and shock that I am feeling and it’s something you just can’t explain to anyone who’s not been through it.
People will tell you time heals but so far for mé it has not, I guess I may have learned to live with it a little better but my way of coping is to ask myself what Pete would want me to do and I know he would not want me to be feeling the pain and sadness that I am.
So I’m trying my best to carry on. But as you will know it’s easier said than done.
My advice to you would be to take each day as it comes, and don’t worry about doing things like calling out his name, I often do that, I talk to him all the time even though I know he can’t hear me.
Getting out with our dogs helps and gives me a bit of structure to my day and makes me get out of bed. I tell my hounds every day how much I loved and miss their dad. Now I know some people think I’m crazy!
But I’m convinced they miss him just as much as me and I hug them all the time.
It’s very early days for you, be kind to yourself and don’t put any pressure on yourself, it’s a very personal journey and everyone’s journey is different.
It will get slightly easier with time, this forum has helped me a lot because you can say the stuff that’s in your head without fear of being judged. Some of the things I have said on here I could never say to anyone in person.
I am awaiting am appointment for counselling which I will help.
Take care of yourself.
Hugs are something i miss terribly and I’m sending you one.



HI Lynn
so sorry for your loss early stage of grief yet so many hurdles to get through i lost my husband of nearly 54 years just over 3 months ago my husband was the first one that came into my mind when i heard the news about shane warne dieing suddendly as he did we were both avid cricket fans but i havent been able to watch it since my husband pssed as i have no feelings to watch it now not the same when just me watches it not the same
take care just one day at a time and baby steps along the way only do what you want to do



Hi Muldool

Thank you, and likewise I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been dreadful to lose him that suddenly! 59 is so young, my husband was 54.

My husbands name is Pete too! It was evil cancer that took him from me! Pete was a big cricket fan and that is why I went to call out to tell him about Shane Warne! It’s like I know he’s gone, but I can’t stop calling his name to tell him something! I talk to him all the time and keep asking him to somehow let me know he’s near!

Yes I have been told that life goes on and time will heal, but those comments have come from friends, who mean well, but will leave and go home to their husbands and continue their lives! I feel like my life has stopped, like I’m stuck in quick sand and I can’t move and I’m just slowly sinking and everyone else is walking away!

We have two dogs and I know they are both missing Pete so much! He used to take them on really long walks and go for miles! I haven’t moved the pile of his clothes beside the bed and they often snuffle through them.

I miss his hugs so so much, so thank you for the virtual one! Take good care of yourself


Hi Pat

I am so very sorry for your loss!

Like you I have not been able to watch anything we would have normally watched together! It’s like I can’t watch it because it’s not fair that he can’t be here to watch it with me!

It is so so hard, be good to yourself


Hi Kath
I can relate to you as my husband died 11 months ago. After losing my mum dad sister and niece that pain is nothing compared to losing my husband of 44 years. Like you the past year has been such a struggle and when I think back to the stuff I have had to deal with I don’t know where I got the strength. But I did and am so proud 🥲 my family and friends have been wonderful yet despite all of this my heart is broken and I fear will never mend. We just have to plod on through this nightmare and hope one day life will be less of a struggle.

Much love
Georgina x

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