I’m just curious, how long after losing your partner did you go back to work? It’s a month today that I lost my husband. I’m 45 (he was 43) and didn’t have life insurance so financially have to go back to work to pay the mortgage. Thankfully work have been amazing (I work for the NHS) and my managers have been so supportive and not pressurising me, and tell me to come back when I’m ready, and can do phased return etc. I have identified going back at the beginning of April, which won’t be quite 2 months since my husbands death. But am worried it’s too soon although want to try and get some “normalcy” back. I realise it’s quite a subjective topic,. I also realise it’s still to soon to think about it, but that’s how my brain works…I think into the future rather than the now! So just curious what others experiences were
I had to go back to work a week and a half after my partner passed.
I work remotely.
Harsh reality is the world keeps spinning and life goes on regardless
You kind of expect there to be a pause button while you get head around things, but there just isnt
Hello, I went back after 4 weeks, I felt there wouldn’t be a time when I felt ready so I might as well just Bite the bullet, it felt a relief ti have my mind taken off of the grief fir a while & obviously financially i didn’t want to get into debt & also knew my boss & workmates good will in carrying me wouldn’t last forever, I don’t regret going back.
My husband passed away almost 4 months ago. I had to go back to work after 5 days. That’s all my company gives us for losing a spouse. The first day back was really hard. Everyone coming up to me giving their condolences. I sat in my office and cried all day. After that initial first fee days when people stop asking questions, I found it helped me to be back to work. While I was busy working it helped me get back to some routine. Hugs to you
Hiya. I work in the NHS too and I went back after 7 weeks. I was absolutely dreading it but I needed some routine and some normality. It was the best thing I could have done. Everyone was so kind and they organised counselling for me which has helped no end. And it tired me out; I actually slept properly for the first time since losing Alan . Like everything else I don’t think there is a right or wrong way with this: it has to be what feels best for you. Take care x
I went back to work 5 weeks after my husband died, employer was great, gave me a four week phased return, which helped me immensely. I think l might have lost my mind, had l not gone back when l did. Having something to take me away from the all-consuming grief for a few hours a day has been a Godsend. Two weeks until the first anniversary of his death and l am still here, still fighting to carry on, as he would have wanted me to do x
Hi, it’s all very personal choices, and dependent on individual circumstances. (I made a couple of visits not to work, just to see people) between my husband’s death and his funeral.
His funeral was on a Friday, and I went back on the Tuesday after, because the Monday was the Queen’s funeral, so a bank holiday.
The first couple of weeks, were shorter days. Then I was back to ‘normal’ ???
To be honest , now when I look back, I’ve no idea how I managed that.
I was just existing, and thought it was the right thing to do.
Not sure if it was??? 18 months for me now, and I’ve barely had any time off.
Sometimes I think I just haven’t allowed myself the time to grieve properly, and I’m SO exhausted all the time, but other times I think , it would be a whole lot worse if I’d been home with nothing to do.
Sorry, I’ve been no help have I?
The truth is , you just need to do what you think is right. And if when you do go back you find it’s too much, I hope you can tell that to your bosses, and that they will be understanding.
Love, hugs and strength to you all 
I went back to work after 6 weeks for 3 shifts. I then took another 4 months off as I couldn’t handle work. I’m a support worker for mencap and found it hard leaving my son to do sleep ins. Plus found myself getting upset which is hard in front of people with learning disabilities. I’m now gradually doing more hours as I find the distraction is good. X
Hi @Mel1978 ive just went back last week after over 3 month off 
I was absolutely dreading it but it has been a distraction, had some crying outbursts a few times but that’s to be expected, I’m just absolutely mentally and physically drained though after I’ve been! Putting on an act like things are ok but they’re not! I work in retail and when people whinge I get angry inside thinking is that all your worried about!! There’s no right or wrong
Time though and like @MemoriesOfUs says, life still goes on, which is sad for us left behind so unfair for us
Hi @Hazel.1966
I work for a local Mencap too.
But I work in day services, teaching adults with LD. But in all the school holidays we also run schemes for children with very high needs. (And because of my back ground as a teacher in special schools for 30 years) I’m taken out of adult services, and work with the kids and Im in charge of running the schemes for the children in all holidays. Hence why I have had hardly any time off!
Bless you @Hazel.1966 .
Love hugs and strength
@Cathphil thank you so much…oh wow that does sound challenging. I work in the community and in the services where people live. I found it so hard going back as people with LD can be challenging and lack empathy. I glad I have gone back now as a distraction. You must have a lot of patience with working with children though very rewarding. Well done for being so brave and going into work when you most probably want to hide under the duvet cover. Big hugs xx