Hi @sassychic. I am so sorry for what you’re going through, we are all trying to find peace, please try to ignore negative people and negative responses , I am also going through an alone situation with my child, my tribe has a belief that has been there for generations , if a woman loses a her husband at young age,they consider that woman cursed, claiming she has an evil spirit that took her husband’s life, this belief is so strong, even in church/Christian marriages they pray & rebuke the spirit locally called “Kawula”,they claim its the demon that takes a young woman’s husband.
Now if one wakes up in my situation, (I was 29yrs when i lost mine) my family & community isolates me,like real 24/7 isolation,they accuse me for all bad things happening in the community, my husband’s family & my family have never met their grandchild. When walking I use routes that are not used by many people, if I meet someone they spit on the ground, they believe, they’re insulting a demon in me many young widows end their lives,but what gets me going is that i choose the energy around me,I don’t take everything. There are times i walk crying b’se it’sroo much.,some other days I just walk as they spit & insult .
Please be strong for yourself. Bad things happen without us expecting, i believe good days will come in the someway.
I cannot be as chatty as i would like to be its on here that i have been told and that is what hurts the most we are told to be kind as we are all going through this and i understand that but when people come on here and say your to chatty what am i suppose to do i came here to try and make some sense of my grief
I am so sorry that you lost you husband so young i cannot believe your community you have done nothing wrong at all its the way they think its very old fashioned and to spit at you is disgraceful and they should be ashamed of themselfs not you , you sound a very a strong young lady walk tall and keep your head up you have done nothing wrong i can sypathise with you my husband had a accident when he was 44 he fell down a flight of stairs concrete floor not very forgiving and damaged his spinal cord his family blamed me for it saying i had pushed him why on earth would i do that i loved him very much and we had been married 22years when it happened we stayed married for a further 22years before he passed away and i did everything i could possibly do for him you need to stay strong
@sadsychick it’s so heart breaking that people who are supposed to lift you are doing the opposite, his family should consider the love you had for him. And treat you better.
I am try to be strong for my son, there is a 5yr old girl.i always see ,she is not in school, she has no clothes, she walks around sometimes in rain ,sometimes in scorching sun with a plate asking for food from strangers, her mom lost this battle we are in and ended her life, I FEAR THAT SITUATION HAPPENING TO MY SON MORE THAN THE COMMUNITY HARASSMENT.
His family will never change I know that now paul was the one that protected me from them and now he is no longer here I am just this tick box to them we’ve done this with her and that with her I have never felt so alone even on here when people tell me I am to talkative be strong for your son he needs you and I know you will bring him up to treat people with respect and to always listen to them as we never know what’s going on in there life
@Peace02 it makes me so sad to hear about how your community treats young widows. Your son is lucky to have an amazing lady like you as his mum. It made me cry to think of that little girl.
I lost my husband in January very unexpectedly . I thought we had years left ahead of us, I feel too young to be a widow but you are much younger than me.
I am so sad without him and have gone through all sorts of emotions and feel exhausted most of the time,. But I count my blessings that I have a nice house, lovely sons, my friends and my 3 sisters. I hope he would be proud of me.
I am so sorry for how you are being treated and how you are living . I really do think you are amazing xxx
@Cloudysky ,it’s indeed a blessing to have friends and family members (sisters) who love you & comfort you through this journey plus a peaceful home,
I realized that love from our families & friends is a need,we need it. there are times I feel an urge to talk to someone & be around people. And it doesn’t settle until i find a church & sit somewhere, or maybe community sports, I get a good a spot and watch them from a distance even if i am not part, it gives me relief.
So sorry to hear this I know how you feel it has been nearly 2 years in January 2026 since my beloved passed I have a lot of bad days where I cry a lot and wish my beloved was here to give me a big hug and say everything is OK this is what I miss big time . Just to let you know your not alone in this sending hugs to you.
I’m so sorry, your correct in saying others don’t understand unless they’ve been through it. I lost my soul mate two months ago, now I don’t think I ll ever be happy again. I was away for two days and came back to find him dead. I feel so guilty I wasn’t there for the last two days of his life, plus we had argued beforehand. I am distraught, can’t bear the thought of Christmas. He always loved it, lights, decorations, etc. I feel your pain.
So sad to read your post. It’s only natural you feel guilty at not being there when your darling soulmate left this life. I too have so many regrets, did I love him enough, did he know how much I adored him… we all have these feelings. The love of my life went 6 weeks ago and like you, am distraught. I honestly can’t even bear the thought of waking up in the morning to the sudden realisation that I’ll never see him again. He was the loveliest man I ever met. Please don’t feel guilty, I’m sure your dear husband knows how much you adored him, and I truly believe they’re with us, and we’ll see them again. I can’t wait until then. Take care
Thank you for your kind words. It is comforting to know you and others on here understand the pain of losing a partner. I dread night time I have all these anxious feelings which keep me from sleeping properly. I’m just waiting for the day I can be with him again.
You’re saying exactly how I feel. It just feels too hard. Night time and morning are my worst times. Sleep is no existent. I’m having a particularly bad day today. The tears are non stop
Sorry your having such a bad day I know what you are saying mornings for mean I wake up and then realise I am still here without paul , night time means its sitting the world out when I close the blinds and you are on your own and it to quite then bed time sleep well I am lucky if I get a couple of hours then wake up and stare at the ceiling life has changed so much its hard to believe it I miss paul so much
I know how you feel like you said night and morning are the worst your there by yourself I’m up every couple of hours cos I can’t sleep I cry cos I miss my beloved so much . It’s worse when I come home from work and he’s no longer there to tell him about my day so sad
I am sorry for your loss and how you feel ,I feel the same way I miss paul everything I come home I know I am going into a empty house I sit in my car on the drive to work up enough courage to go in the house I miss the compliments he would give me when I had my hair cut he loved the colour and cut he was such a great guy at giving me compliments I miss him so much not having someone to talk to is the hardest thing in the whole world just to here another voice would be great I know it will not be paul but to have one person even care enough to call you would be the best thing in the world I would love my phone to ring and someone to talk to me little old me but that’s never going to happen ever again
I’m sorry for your grief and I get how you don’t want to burden others. I’m two months down the line after the death of my soul mate. I cannot envisage how I can survive without him. People tell me it will get better but I am no longer the same person. I thought I was a little better last week, less anxious, but the anxiety has returned with a vengeance this week and I m crying all the time. At least other people on this site understand the pain.
I am 6 months down the line without Simon we were stuck together like glue god I love him soo much my anxiety is high I think it’s all this Christmas stuff I went in supermarket but my head was a mess couldn’t concentrate even came out with Christmas crackers because that’s what I did last year I don’t need bloody crackers are you taking anything to help with your anxiety x
I understand your pain it is not as easy as people think i lost paul 5 years ago and i still have the pain nobody gets me at all so it is easier to stay indoors i have gone out today and was only out for a short while i have a new car and its showing me that my tyre pressure needs sorting i drove into a garage on sunday who are supposed to have done that now i need to take it back to the garage again feeling like a big idiot been in tears over this why is everything getting to me this week and the week is not finished but i feel i am i cannot do this anymore it bloody hurts dies no one get it
many young widows end their lives,but what gets me going is that i choose the energy around me,I don’t take everything. There are times i walk crying b’se it’sroo much.,some other days I just walk as they spit & insult .
