Thanks Dave,I am so embarrassed , I try to stay a bit upbeat on this sight as everyone is suffering and I don’t want to pull others down.I have had a bad two days and just couldn’t stop crying.I’m so sorry
Hi Mel just like to say sorry to you too,I don’t know what came over me.I don’t like the samaritans and it seems cruse are taking for ever, I have never acted like this before,not even when john first passed away.I usually watch what I say on here I really don’t want to upset anyone.thank you for your concern.I hope you manage to get some sleep ,and yes the wine seems to help short term but not long term I found.take care Mel , and thank again your all so kind
Hello Debbie, no need to be apologising, feeling embarrassed etc. At least at the minute you are more ok-“ish” than previously. Your prsgmatic mind may be telling you to try and stay positive but your hurting heart isn’t ready to yet - so why should you feel you have to, you shouldn’t. I understand what you mean about being “changed” and “worn out”. I hope you feel more settled today - and I reckon it’s ok to post negatively when necessary. At least I hope so, or I would have been barred from this site long ago.
Bless you. I know exactly how you feel. My husband died suddenly in november. He was my best friend, soulmate and awesome dad to our beautiful children ( 17 &7). The pain is unbearable and been particularly bad the last week or so.
Reality setting in perhaps after the almighty shock. Or the increased heartache of seeing the pain and loss felt by our children.
I can’t imagine ever getting over it. But have to accept it and ensure to be the best I can be for our children…poor buggers.
Unfortunately after 10 miscarriages I learnt very quickly that people don’t want to listen to sadness and I too have distanced myself from friends and family years ago which now makes it Very difficult to reach out.
Hi Claire, sorry to hear about your husband,you sound like a very strong woman.I have two girls they don’t live with me and have just got on with their lives,they don’t show any compassion but I have came to the idea that they proberbly don’t like to show their grief.you have come to the right sight as everyone on here is friendly and very understanding,so come and chat as and when you need to,as you can see from my other posts people on here were there for me at my lowest point I feel bad now that I put them through that but they are a very sympathetic and kind bunch of people.keep strong and take care.skylark
It’s been piddling down today in Wales, dark, gloomy with a freezing rain…it matched my mood. Went to Swansea (that is depressing enough when the weather is good…but in terrible weather…Uuuurch!) wandering around lost and bereft.
I managed to sleep a bit. Had a dream when I was actually holding my Mum and Dad’s hands we are flying through a clear, blue warm, sunny sky…then it all vanished…and I was on my own (again)…I woke up bereft sobbed until it hurt.
Pathetic, eh! then had to get out…wandered around the streets in the pouring rain…trying to focus but to no avail. life is getting too hard. I have been told I am still new to grief and I have a while before I feel even a bit “better” I don’t really find the Samaritans an agency I feel comfortable with, possibly it is because I used to be a member of the Swansea branch many moons ago. Cruse’s groups are not really something I feel comfortable with either, though there is 1:1 support but have to wait until there is a spot on their busy schedule before I can access their support. So I find myself wondering what my future holds?
It’s so hard isn’t it David, I don’t like the samaritans either,I only phoned once and ended up putting the phone down on her,I have an assessment with cruse tomorrow my friend encouraged me to go but it could be ages I’ve been told by the time I get 1:1 so I will just have to see what happens.you picked a lovely day to go out (joke) I won’t even go to the shop if it’s raining so well done you for getting out.I cry every night before getting into bed for my lovely husband.I’m in bed for most of the day so I give you credit for getting out on such a horrible day.It is early days,we just have to take it one day at a time, unfortunately I don’t think we can do anything else at the moment.It’s hard to think of the future without our loved ones,but I do try to think of things that I could do in the future, whether they come to anything is anyone’s business.I wish I could give you a better answer and hope you have an ok’ish day tomorrow .take care