Well, heres hoping for a better day today than yesterday.
Yesterday started ok, but i knew a lady from my wifes slimming world group was coming to collect all of her books, which i’d said they could have to share out. Donna loved going to the meetings on her electric wheelchair, she was si independent, which made me so proud of her, especially as a few years back she was mugged while out on the chair, and it took a lot of getting over it, with encouragement from myself and family.
The lady arrived, and we took them to her car. She was so nice, and said lovely things about Donna, i walked back into the house and immediately disintegrated in grief and tears.
Im so sick and tired of grief, i just want her back ( not happening i know) or i just want to feel happy again, just fir a while at least.
The rest of the day was spent thinking i ought to do this or that, but just watched the tv and felt awful.
I too hope for a better day but dont think it is going to happen. Already in tears. I will have some company today as my friend who does some cleaning for me is coming. I haven’t been outside the house in a month. It is difficult as I have mobility issues. Feel awful too as my stomach has been upset for the last week. Exactly one month since my husband died within 1 week of diagnosis. Don’t feel I had a chance to say goodbye. At least he had time to tell me what he wanted for his funeral which was lovely and very well attended. The tissue industry must love me. I seem to cry all day.
Pudding, im so sorry to hear your struggling, its very early days for you, as it is me, 5 weeks for me, i think its the loneliness that hurts most of all , along with the loss of course, and i find the mornings and evenings the worst times of all. I have the dogs to keep me at least partly motivated, they want a walk now, i’d quite happily sit here all day if i’m honest.
Hope the day improves for you 
I agree the loneliness is bad. Am trying to arrange for grief counselling. I have a health coach from my doctors surgery who should be contacting me today. I think she is trying to arrange something for me plus stopping the appointment letters I keep receiving for my husband from the nhs. I hope you have a reasonable day. Not sure whether these chats help or just start me crying again