I haven’t been on the site for a while as I thought I was actually getting somewhere. I had come to a sort of acceptance that this was my life, and that was it. It isn’t what I want, but there isn’t anything I can do about it, that was my mindset. But the past few weeks have been terrible, There have been arguments within the family and unfortunately the people involved are making more of and totally oblivious to the effects their words have. Like everyone on here in these situations we would have had our partners to talk things through and allay the anxiety, but they are not, and you go home just feeling worse when you somehow think family would support you. I feel lost and very low, I am just glad I have my kids around but I just don’t know what to do. Has anyone else had issues with family.
So sorry to hear this Viv, after everything that has happened this just adds extra grief. Unfortunately I fell out with my wife’s step son and daughter over the will and the grandson also got involved sending horrible texts. It is extra worry, stress and anxiousness that you don’t need, especially when you are already suffering so much. Have you someone close you can talk with or just to listen? My sister is great but lives miles away and has her own life. I don’t think people can understand the feelings and loss sometimes and may be unaware of the hurt they are giving you.
I hope you find some peace.
Hello Viv3 and joeb40
You do not need extra worry and stress. It takes all our strength to cope day to day after losing our loved ones.
I also had just about started to accept that this new life is worth living, albeit not a life I chose or want.
Yesterday was a sad day being the first fathers day for my family without their Dad, but we got through it with our memories, tears and laughter.
Then the bombshell that my son’s marriage is in trouble after 25 years. I am so worried about them all and now I am back to square one feeling very low today.
Oh my, my family (at least some of them) have been lacking any sense of emotional intelligence. I have felt I’ve had to be the one that stays silent and walk away, feeling let down and isolated, to avoid having a major fallout. My close family stayed on holiday for 10 days when my husband died. I even got calls from abroad telling me about the weather in Greece and what they’d been doing. They can’t understand why I feel hurt and angry, I buried my feelings and accepted an invitation to lunch yesterday, only for them to start talking about what a lovely time they had - all the while my husband is dying, Then they wonder why I’m quiet and walk away to wash the pots alone. I could so easily have a blazing row right now. But I’m ignoring messages and phone calls instead because I don’t have the emotional or mental capacity for conflict right now. I so want to scream at them. 10 days too late they came home and every day since have texted to ask if they can do anything,
First I must admit I am not the world’s most empathetic person. I have had friends and neighbours that have lost their partners and until I lost Alison, I had absolutely zero appreciation of what they had gone through. I have lost other relatives but this grief is beyond comparison to anything I have felt before.
I am not making excuses for your family, but perhaps they are the same, they may feel that carrying on as normal is the best way and that by talking about what they are doing is somehow taking your mind off things. It’s so hard, other people’s lives do indeed go on and they are not living with the loss of the person you loved more than any other every minute of every day.