Battles with family

I lost my Mum at the beginning of January. I asked for help arranging the funeral l, no one wanted to help. Everyone said they had no opinion on songs, flowers, or anythings. So I spent days going through family photo albums, lp, even her old letters, to work out a service that would reflect who she was, not just to me, but everything; even down to her being a screaming beatles fan in the 50s.

Now it is sorted (it is next week), everyone is coming out with what they think should or should not happen. I have tried my best to accommodate where I can, but some are frankly bizarre and no one seems to be listening when I have asked them to back off and just let us say goodbye to Mum. I have even had my husband trying to stamp his grief processing on it all and saying he is “going to tell them” and worse “they should pay”. I don’t care about the money, I just want to say goodbye to mum without having an argument. I know everyone’s emotions are all over the place, but people are failing to see the hurt they are causing everyone, including me. What is more distressing is that when ever family disputes happened it was Mum I would call and cry my eyes out to.
Is this normal?

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I had the same with my mums funeral I did everythink from the music,eulogy and pictures. It’s frustrating as I kept asking for information then kept getting it all last minute. But I’m glad I did it in the end as I knew I gave my mum the perfect send off


I really don’t know why but funerals bring the worst out in people. Personally I have a wrote it all down, so when I go my sons know what to do. People don’t understand why I did it but reading your posts it seems very sensible. Take care and remember it’s just that one day and the day after everyone will have gone and left you. S xx

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