What does “be kind” to yourself mean?
@Daphne6
It’s an odd phrase isn’t it, but one we all turn to.
My interpretation is don’t expect too much of yourself, because you are already going through hell.
It’s a way to say try to step away from the pressures other people might put on you at this time… don’t necessarily take them onboard as truth. And the same about putting pressures on yourself.
If the phrase… I should/you should be doing XYZ… is used then stop, breathe, step back from that pressure.
Also I think it means a change in perspective to congratulating yourself for things you are doing and coping with when this awful thing has happened to you… and that may vary… in the early days getting out of bed, having a shower, eating, tackling even one piece of paperwork are achievements. So recognise them as such, give yourself a pat on the back when no-one else might realise what effort it takes.
And also taking a moment to analyse and realise what is happening. It depends on your personality. I have particularly struggled when people have expected me to become a different personality because my husband died. Once I could identify that as what was happening I could deal with it better.
That’s such a thoughtful, kind response. This time last year was the last time i saw my Daddy (he’s become Daddy since his death) alive. It was one of the hardest points in my life but he smiled at me and said “thank you” as he drifted in and out of consciousness. He put his frail arm out and tried to hug me.
I’m feeling guilt that i wasn’t with him on the actual day he died. i was so exhausted though.
I’m going to have to try doubly hard to be “kind to myself” over the next few days