It’s been 15 months since my Rob was taken so suddenly.
I sit most days and look back on our 34 years together and married for 33years . Some days I laugh, some days I just smile , some days I sob my heart out, but there are so many days when I beat myself up because I think of the days when he wanted a cuddle and I was so wrapped up in the everyday things I would have his needed cuddle but tut about it as if it was such a chore.
Now I would give ANYTHING to have one of his cuddles I felt so safe when he was around wherever we went I felt safe .
I have had some very very dark days during this last 15 months an I try so hard not to return to them because I know Rob wouldn’t want that .
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Jazzer that’s normal we loved them so much take care annie
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Sorry got your name wrong lv annie
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I know exactly what you mean. I hate the fact that I was so busy so much of the time. We never thought it would end like this…and so soon. Sending hugs
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We all thought we had all the time in the world, how were we ever to know what was round the corner and the deep sharing of love meant we could be comfortable with each other and banter to and fro,it’s so easy to beat yourself up but please be kind to yourself, he loved you just the way you are hugs xx
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For jazzer too xx
Predictive text !!!
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I know and we never took it for granted. Every day we made sure we told each other that we loved each other and we never argued. It’s just, with the hindsight that none of us have, I would have worked less. I just hoped that the work would stand us in good stead for a relaxing retirement, but it was never to be. When all the things you were aiming for have gone because the person you wanted to share them with has gone, it makes things pretty pointless.
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I think we are all guilty of not finding time to tell our loved ones how much we love them I know I am, if I could go back in time I would make sure I told him how much I loved him and done things differently , but sadly we can’t . We always told each other I love you when we went to bed and I used to say see you in morning Jim reply was I hope so.
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I cuddled my husband and he looked irritable. I huffed. He went into the kitchen and then came back to bed. He got in and as I looked at him he was in full cardiac arrest. I do wish I had not huffed as I feel it’s the last thing I did and I get so upset about it. He probably had chest pain and never said. When I think of our last moments I cry.
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Hi Nel
Try not to put aside a happy marriage and your love for your husband on the basis that you huffed a bit.
All wives and husbands argue or huff and puff from time to time. You can’t be happy and jolly all the time on the basis that one of you will die one of these days.
I had cross words with both my mum and dad shortly before they died suddenly but I try and focus on all the happy, good times.
Guilt almost killed me after my mum died but it has now been replaced with happier memories.
Cheryl
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Thank you Cheryl that has made me feel a little better x
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