Being a widower

I lost my wife at the start of this year and felt that I could cope so looked for someone to share my life with 6 myths later. I did find a partner but the relationship was very much on / off but this week we split up for good. Although I am glad she has gone I now feel like I did in my teens and now have such a sense of loss that I really do feel very low and depressed like never before. Of course I miss my wife very much, but am really scared of falling deeper and deeper into depression to a dangerous point


Bless you it’s tough and am sorry for your loss iit’s not an easy path for any of us and none of us know what the future holds. Talk to your GP about how you are feeling and think about whether breavement counselling might be an option for you or whether there is a breavement support group near by that you might join and find support from others who understand how you feel. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your wife and it is ok not to be ok. Be kind to yourself and take care

Thanks for the response , I have been to my doctors but to be honest they were sympathetic but not over helpful. I am worrying about trivia and ignoring the fact that I am not eating or sleeping properly. I also know that by doing this I am actually harming my body but I cannot break the cycle, I have birthday, Xmas & new year fast approaching and I just know that I will be facing these alone & depressed. I really do wonder if life is worthwhile.

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Hello, you must try and look after yourself and if this means using most of your focus to do that then try and concentrate on getting that right.

It is a slow, hard road you’re travelling on and it’s not easy to even do the basic things you need to in your everyday life.

Don’t ever beat yourself up about finding it hard because it is so hard to keep going and it’s also hard to find reasons for carrying on but I’m sure there are.

Maybe try not to put so much emphasis on Christmas and New year this time round as I’m sure the people around you and yourself know it will be one like no other year.

I generally try to deal with what’s in front of me and not look too far ahead as it can overload your head which isn’t good as it’s already full with trying to understand and come to terms with what’s happened in my life.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Maslows Triangle but it’s an interesting thing to read, it has nothing to do with grief or death but it is helpful or can be.

Keep talking about how you’re feeling as you won’t be the only person feeling like this so in that respect you aren’t alone but I know the alone you’re on about.

Take care brother and keep on going.