Being alone,

So many sad stories is so very sad, as I am and it does not seem to get any better.
Loosing my husband over a year ago, and I am still drowning in grief. I really dont know where to turn for support help and guidance can anyone advise me please.

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Hello Alice ,
I’m so sorry you are still struggling. I haven’t lost a partner but my mum died 16 months ago and my grief seems to have got worse not better ( not that it will ever go away . ) I am having CBT in the hope that will help , had 5 sessions so far . I also take antidepressants and try and battle on everyday . Take good care.
Love Angie xx

Hi Alice
Know what you mean …….
I’m having bereavement counselling lost hubby Paul 24th July 2022
Had a couple of sessions……
At the end of the day no one has a magic wand
We want our partners/ life back end of……
Sorry no words of wisdom try counselling it could help
We here always listen
Big hugs
Xx

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Hello Alice

It’s so hard isn’t it.
I lost my hubby on the 1st November 2021.
Have been feeling steadily worse and worse, the closer it gets to that date! It’s like I’m right back there!

I have a very supportive family, but didn’t know where to turn for advice and or guidance and actually the right support for me!

It took a lot for me to do it, but I recently contacted my doctor. We had a really long chat, he praised me for reaching out and taking that step.
He told me I was worthy, offered guidance and has referred me for some sort of counselling.

Time will only tell if it will help me.
Hope this helps you.

Take care if yourself xx

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Hi Alice,
I understand how you feel. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I remember before my husband Jim and I were married, the priest said to me, “You know Sue that when you marry, you become one. You each work at striving to develop the best in each other.” At the age of 19, I thought, "Hang on a minute. I am a person in my own right. I’m not half of anything. It was only when I lost my lovely Jim that I remembered those words of the priest. United, Jim and I were a formiddable force. We coped with everything that life threw at us, together. We planned celebrations together to make people feel loved and worthy. When I lost my ‘other half’ I did not know how to function. I am broken. I don’t feel that I am worth as much now as when Jim was alive. I am a different ‘person’ now. I still struggle with life, even though it has been nearly 4 years since Jim died suddenly. I remember 2 things that a very trusted and compassionate friend says to me. "Be kind to yourself. Take one day at a time. This life is hard Alice. The deep, deep pain is so present. When we have been so fortunate to have given and received love in such an amazing and incredible way, the loss of our loved one is bound to be a painful struggle. I take great comfort in knowing that once, this lovely person made me feel special. He filled me with confidence in my own ability. He ensured that I felt important and loved. I am still broken and I am certain that I am beyond repair. Yet I am still here. I have tried the NHS and bereavement support counsellors but COVID has had a massive impact on the availability of support for people like you and I. I have had so many counselling sessions - all online. I’m not cured. I accept that I probably wont ever be. I am able to face one day at a time with the help of a wonderful face to face counsellor. I have to pay for that but I am not yet at retirement age and I still have another 6 or 7 seven years in the wotk place so I can afford it. I would recommend that you seek a counsellor, if you can sfford it. One that you can see face-to-face. Keep going as long as you need to or are able to. When you find the right one for you, it gives you a sense of peace. I never want to go to the appointment, but I am always glad that I’ve been. You are in my thoughts and prayers Alice.

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Hi Alice
Yes take counselling as said it may help…… even if you hang on to one thread each session
I have had four face to face sessions I feel it’s too early to say whether it’s working for me
My counsellor is lovely she listens she responds she offers me direction but……a direction for me not ‘us’ which I’ll miss being apart of until I meet Paul again
So so painful I cry myself to sleep every single night
No one absolutely no one apart from folk here have any idea what’s it’s like
Big hugs to everyone
Xx

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Hi, thank you for your replies.
It is so much worse now that the nights are drawing in.
It is such a shame that we cant meet up and discuss our grief. Im sure that the DOK
might let us meet up for a coffee and chat in one of there rooms. Not all of us can afford
private help. I would be happy to co-ordinate if allowed. Years ago i was an events manager for Imperial cancer research fund, so i could arrange it quite easy.
Your thoughts? Alice

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Hi
Yes I’m for a meet up
Where?
Xx

Sorry haven’t replied as been a tough time but with spring hopefully coming will get something sorted, love Alice x

:+1::+1:
I’m still keen on a meet up if it works
Xx

Hi was thinking we could maybe meet up before an event is sorted, I live in Tilehurst, Reading, maybe we could arrange a good meeting point somewhere which works for both of us?

Hi Alice
I’m in the north of England so maybe a meet up not possible?
Xx

OH gosh yes, ok, let’s just stay in contact via messages, take care Alice xx

Hi Alice
Yes let’s keep in touch
Miles may be a problem but messages aren’t!
Take care
Xx