Being away

I just tried going away for the weekend to my late wife’s twin sister it’s only been 5 weeks since I lost her I drove 18 miles got there stayed 1 night and had to come home I thought it might help me it just made the grief worse sitting here all alone again on a Sunday evening just can’t stop crying I so much want to feel better but can’t jannie would not want me to feel like this I know but can’t cope with this it’s just so aurfull sorry to be a pain.

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Dear @1954.ron

First of all, you are not a pain. It takes courage to do what you did by trying to go away for the weekend. You did extremely well to arrive at your late wife’s sisters home and stay 1 night.

I see your late wife’s sister is her twin. Are they identical in looks and mannerism? This could have impacted your stay due to the likeness. I say this as an identical twin myself. That would have been very difficult for you more so as you are still in the early stages of grieving.

You made a big step by leaving the house. You will get there in time. Grief is a journey and not a race, it is not a quick fix sadly. Have you considered contacting your doctor to see if there are any bereavement support groups in your area?

There is an organisation called The Silver Line and they have a helpline which is free on 0800 4 70 80 90 and are they for friendship, conversation and support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is a helpline for older people (aged 55 and over) for when you have feelings of isolation, worry, or loneliness. It may be worth looking at their website for further information.

Please keep reaching out any time, you are not alone. We are all here for you, it is good that you can come on here to share how you feel and not bottle everything up.

Take care of yourself.

Pepsi

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Hi @1954.ron. I went to the other side of town to my daughter’s house. I lasted an hour and a half before I had to go home so what you did was positively heroic to me! I hate going out now. Everything I do is tarnished and seems bleak. I understand exactly how you feel, as we all do on here. It seems like an impossible thing to get through. Someone’s only got to mention Christmas trees to me and I dissolve into a complete wailing wreck. It’s hideous. Big cuddle to you xx.

I was asked out earlier to do something tomorrow evening but thought about it then declined. I just couldn’t face it. Not even anything I would have to get dressed up for. Haven’t got the heart for it now that my husband isn’t here to enjoy these things with me. Maybe sometime in the future but not yet. Or maybe I’ll never be ready. I miss his company so much. You @1954.ron did so well getting away even if you didn’t stay as long as you planned. And @Jean8 you also going across town. You both did so well. Take care.X

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I went out with two of my cousins for a meal last night although I enjoyed it I had to put a brave face on but missed C being thee to share it with me. Coming home to a dark and empty house made it worse but after making a cuppa and catchint up with Strictly I managed to settle myself down. It’s hard taking those first steps in what feels like a big and empty world and yes this morning I feel lost and weepy but I know C would be proud of me and saying "good on you’. Do what feels right for you and don’t be pressured into doing something to please someone else .x

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