Being kind to yourself is easier said than done.

After losing my wife last March, and becoming the sole carer for my 18- year- old Son, ( Who has complex learning needs, and 24- hr care ), taking care of myself has become so much more secondary. I’m talking emotionally, as opposed to physically.

I think it’s because I’ve become so accustomed to caring for my son, which i seem to do on autopilot sometimes, I’ve forgotten how to be kind to myself. I’m absolutely fully aware that i need to be at my best to be the best carer that i can be, but i always have trouble switching off.

I had a mini break with friends last week, and i tried my best to switch off, and try and live a little, but couldn’t help worrying about how my son was back at home. It’s very much easier said than done.

I try and rationalise it by telling myself that I’m dealing with all sorts of grief at the moment, and, in my own time, some balance will return.


You are in a very difficult position. I cared for my wife for the last three years of her life and i know its all consuming and you do lose your own sense of self.
The difference is that me being the carer finished when my wife died and that constant pressure and worry has gone too.
You have to carry on regardless of how you feel and i wonder if you’ve had time to grieve properly.
Your boy needs you, but you cant let everything get on top of you or you’ll knock yourself ill.
I wish i could be of more help.