I just received a phone call from the mental health nurse. She suggested two forms of therapy that might be helpful for me: bereavement group or cognitive behavioural therapy. I am not sure which is better for me but I think I would like to join a bereavement group. Has anyone experienced either of these therapies and how they helped them? Sending love and hugs to everyone.
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Hi Anna,
I went to a bereavement group a short time after Pete passed away at our local hospice and initally found it helpful as I realised that we were all in the same sad situation. You were able to tell your story if you wanted to but could just listen to others if you preferred. It was a mixed group so interesting to hear how the men were coping. There were lots of tears but lots of support from the therapists taking it and of course from the group. Tea and coffeed after and chat between the group. Some met up in the week and found new friends which was good.
I did find after a couple of months that we were all going over the same stories of our loved ones and there seemed little else to say. As the group was getting smaller and new berieved people wanted to join I decided to leave, For me it was a great experience and I learned a lot from others mainly that what I was feeling (devastated) was normal.
I didn’t have the cognitive therapy but the bereavement sessions for me were really good.
Love Jenny x
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Hi @Annaessex, I too went to a Bereavement group run by our local hospice. I found it very helpful and it was good to talk to people who understood how I felt. It also helped to talk about my situation and hear that my thoughts were common.
As @Kingfisher said, after a few sessions, there wasn’t a lot more to say and people I was getting to know decided to leave. I left after about four sessions. I am very glad I went.
I am sure it will be beneficial for you, I do hope so.
Good luck and best wishes xx
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@Annaessex
I have done CBT and that’s was very helpful for me but we are all different. Initially I wanted to go to a group because I like gave to face but I imagine it to be miserable with everyone suffering with loss. I have found zoom meetings much better for me and have them with people from here, which has proved to be supportive and friendly.
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Yeh sounds good a bereavment group and then youre meeting other people in same situation … not done it myself just had bereavment counselling … she is lovely and i can talk to her but ii dunno if its gonna chsnge this horrible life much ? My darling husband has still gone ! Sorry , feeling very negative today 
xx
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It’s ok to feel negative. You’ve had a lot to deal with. Life can be so hard that being positive can be hard.
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I know i was reading in “good grief guide” that in a bereavment situation its not good to pretend to be ok and be “positive” because we need to let our sorrow out !! Ive only read hslf the book. Need to pick it back up again. Good book xx
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@Annaessex I attended a bereavement support group which lasted 10 weeks. I found it helpful as you can say how you are feeling without being judged in a safe place. We now have once a month a follow up group with previous group members. I was also given a lot of information for other sources if I want to explore in the future Xx
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I eent to group therapy for depression, and also had cbt. This wasnt do fo with bereavement. At the start I found group great because there were lots of perfectly normal looking people all feelig intendly lost and sad, but after a while it was the same stories over and over, and people not really listening but eaiting for their 1 minute 20 seconds to speak. I left. I found cbt more useful. Some things said made me realise my thinking was skewed. Not everyone glancing at me in the street is thinking “God she’s fat!” For example. They might be thinking “nice hair” or “why is she looking at me? Am I that ugly” or maybe even “I wish I had my glasses I can’t see a thing”. To this day I make an effort to think about everyjing in a different way. Yo look for other possibilities. Sadly no way of looking at it makes my husband alive again, and hearing other people’s grief would I think push my fragile state too far. This is the best I can offer by way of advice. I have found the mental health system to be badly broken but I wish you very good luck whatever you decide…and thank you for getting me out of my despair for the time it took me to type this.
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I’m sorry for the typos. I have MS. Fingers like bananas, and my eyes are so puffy from crying I cant see.
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