Bereavement phone lines

I just rang two for the first time. The firsts didnt answer and I was held in a queue until i gave up…twice. The second (shall remain nameless) was answered after a while by someone who just said hello, and then I said i needed to talk to someone, and he said he couldn’t give advice and a few other things and was just there to listen. I said I’d let him talk with someone else instead. He was so off putting.
Now I feel even worse. I mean i know no one can bring my husband back so really there’s no point but I’d slightly hoped for a kinder voice or someone who got the ball rolling by asking who i had lost or something. It was so cold and awkward. And now I feel mean. I’m just so lonely. I miss my husband holding my hand or hugging me. Especially when I’m so miserable. Oh the irony of how the only person who can help you is the one who has died leaving you in this hell.
My windows are open. I can hear people laughing and talking. I want to run outside and scream and scream at them.
Funeral next Tuesday. I had to take H’s clothes in today. I’m worrying they won’t dress him properly. They wont bother with his boxer shorts because no one will see. That they’ll bash him around.
Ive been trying to tidy up but i cant seem to make any headway. The house is a tip. H wouldn’t want me to let our home fall apart. Its all so utterly awful. I cant bear it…

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Hi @LizFar i am so sorry for your loss my life was also torn apart :broken_heart: i tried tfo call the mainstream councillor services recommend by my doctor what a waste of time one no reply another just an answer machine saying all advisers are busy another just had absolutely morbid music after 15 minutes i gave up. I had been thrown into tis living nightmare with no help from anyone after being without a partner after 50 years i really thought i will never get thru this.
Its been a hard uphill struggle good days bad days and terrible days but i just take small steps a day at a time 8 months on yes the pain is still there but i think she would have been so sad for me to give up.
Please have a read of the posts for counselling i and many others have posted on this thread.
Please take care sending :purple_heart: huge hugs
Believe me it does get easier as time goes on mike.

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Hi @LizFar. I know what you mean about the phone lines. I tried Cruse several times and gave up. Sometimes I do an on line chat with a counsellor via grief chat on much loved. You can have 1 hour. I am awaiting being assigned a nhs counsellor having self referred but there is a long wait as with everything else on the nhs. Xx.

Hi @Pudding you’re going to have a long wait first i was told i did not qualify until 6 months had passed 9 months on and no councillors i was told may be allocated within next 6-12 months or you can seek a private councillors services when i could get an appointment within days.
I have worked all my life never out of work i have paid in thousands of pounds into this country and yet now im put to the bottom of the pile. I am sorry im not prejudiced but illegal immigrants get better support than me which makes me so angry.
Sorry for rant but the system is biased and broken

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@LizFar have you tried Sue Ryder as they do grief counseling. Another couple of links might help are

They asked for my husbands boxer shorts you know ! And i know what you mean about people talking and laughing - meanwhile your world has fallen apart :frowning: and that the very person who could help isnt here ! Its so very hard isnt it ? Try a different helpline … who was it you contacted ? X

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Pudding i totally agree with you on the cruse.they were no use to me. All i kept getting was you have to wait until a certain time. The lady on the phone reduce me to tears she was so unfeeling .i just wanted to give up but i heard my gorgeous fantastic beautiful wife sue saying come on don’t give up for me ,you can do this

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I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and it’s very disappointing about the bereavement phone lines.

I’ve only tried a grief line once, when I was extremely distraught, and the person who answered said “What would you like to discuss in the 20 minutes assigned to you?” She just seemed so cold and businesslike that I was speechless, mumbled something and hung up.

Sending caring thoughts your way during the difficult time leading up to your husband’s funeral. Try to go easy on yourself xx

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