Hello everyone,
This morning I arranged my partner’s funeral. That went better than expected as the lady from the Coop was very understanding and took her time to walk me through the process. I even selected a rather lovely urn for the ashes shaped like a teardrop and looking nothing like an urn (that was the objective). They are also going to take his fingerprints so that I could then use them for commemorative jewellery should I wish to. We had a funeral plan, so that will cover the costs.
Got back home feeling better than expected to be then faced with all the legal bills of the probate. Inheritance tax plus all the debts he left which will need to be offset against the value of the estate. The whole thing is a veritable quagmire!
I do wonder if I will have enough money left to buy a decent property elsewhere and have some left over for a pension pot.
Right now I feel very negative though and a little upset that he has left me with all this to sort out.
I truly fear being homeless at the end of the process.
Has anyone experienced this?
Thank you for listening.
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Oh @SSTC22, that sounds very hard for you.
Well done on coping with the funeral.
You have my utmost sympathy regarding dealing with the paperwork and “sadmin” that’s necessary at this time.
It’s hard enough doing it when you know that the money is there, it’s just a matter of being able to access it.
The thought that there won’t be enough left to enable you to retain a home must be a nightmare.
Have you had any advice from a professional that deals with this sort of thing?
Citizens Advice maybe?
Good luck with it and I hope you find someone to help you with it all.
Sorry for your loss.
Dear @SSTC22
It it not easy making funeral arrangements and taking fingerprints is a first for me. Well done on being so positive and now for the hard part in dealing with all the awful paperwork.
I came across a site which may be of help to you and worth a look. It is Citizens Advice and they have information on how to claim Bereavement Benefits. It would be worth taking a look.
Hope this helps. Take care.
Pepsi
Hi @SSTC22, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sorting paperwork and admin out after your partner dies is hard, probably the shock of the whole situation we find ourselves in doesn’t help.
When I phoned the pensions department about my husband’s state pension and attendance allow, the lady I spoke to asked if I had claimed breavement allowance. I hadn’t because I didn’t know I could. She did it for me all over the phone, you get a lump sum towards the funeral costs and £100 a month for 18 months. It all helps.
For me we already had the funeral covered as both of us had a funeral plan in place, and we had no probate to deal with. But it certainly helped with all the other bills that needed sorting.
Sending love, Debbie X
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Dear Debbie,
Many thanks for your reply and the suggestions. Unfortunately, Andrew and I were not married or in a civil partnership, so I do not think I am entitled to bereavement allowance, unless I am mistaken?
Sonia
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It might be worth a try, you never know. As Pepsi said try citizens advice.
Because I work I also get universal credit, which I also didn’t know about until 6 months after Doug died.
Debbie X
Oh dear I cannot imagine what you are going through. When my husband passed more than a year ago suddenly I didn’t know which way to turn it was an absolute minefield. Luckily we had savings in both our names because it took months to get any of John’s. I ploughed through it and got it all sorted in 3 months. All the bills transferred to me, his private pension to be sorted and don’t talk about his premium bonds. It took a call from the Coroner to get those funds released.
Luckily I’m financially secure but to be in a position where I might have lost my home would have tipped me over the edge. I volunteer and suggest a call to Peabody, they’re a charity which help with this sort of stuff and would definitely point you in the right direction. CAB are also good. There is help out there it’s just finding it.
Very best wishes and hope things improve for you.
Georgina 
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