It would have been my Julie’s 70 th birthday today also exactly three months today she died missing her so much can’t describe how I feel just now got to go out for my M O T to the Doc’s later that’s going to be hard facing people today without breaking down sorry for rambling on just had to tell someone how I feel

This is a good place to be, John, to express your feelings. I feel for you as I have yet to face anniversaries as my husband died last June and they are all coming up over the next few months. We had been married for 66 years and I feel as if half of me has died. I don’t know how we get better but hope it’s not too long a journey for any of us. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy and, as I am 86, my hope is that I won’t spend too many years alone. Warmest regards. Eileen

Thanks virgo825 for the reply it’s very hard as you know our friend gave me a rose bush as Julie loved roses I set it in big pot where I can see it I’ve just put a candle at the side of it and put it , I hope she can see it were ever she is thanks again hope you soon feel better keep your chin up

Hi John

I really feel for you. Every birthday is hard but special ones like 70th seem even worse. I’m sure you will find it hard to get through the day without breaking down. My husband died in October and I still break down and have panic attacks on a regular basis ( not something that happened before). Nothing we can do about it - it just hurts.

I have just emailed another Counsellor in the hope that she may be able to help. Frantically searching for something to ease the pain.

Just wanted to reply to let you know you are not alone. Hope you have some time today to be able to reflect on happier birthdays spent with Julie but i know it may be too soon for that.

Thinking of you

Yvonne X

Hi Scorpio. Thanks for your support I’m so sorry you are having panic attacks there’s only us who understand the pain we are going through I’ve had( you’ve got to move on ) ( know it’s hard but) from people who luckily have not had to go through what we are experiencing, I have gone through a lot in my time I lost my mother when I was 25 , two divorces ( both went off with other men ) but the feeling I am getting now is worse than anything previous , all we can do is suffer and air our feelings on this site keep strong and I hope you are get over the panic attacks soon john

Hi John David
I am sorry that you don’t have your beautiful wife with you I find it so sad that times in our life that were days of love and laughter become filled with loss and sadness.
I had my birthday on Sunday it was so painful I put the card up that George got me last year .

All day sat and Sunday I cried like a child I hope we all get through these days in front of us all and come out the other side with the loving memories we all had of the beautiful times we had with our loved once .

Hi LILY thanks for your kind words noone should have so much pain in Thier life it hurts so much as you know I wish we all get back to some better place john

Hello John David, it was my beloved husbands 75th birthday last Sunday 28th January. We had made so many plans for this day, a cruise etc, but here I am without him. It will be a year in May when he passed but seems only yesterday. Yes no one really understands how we are feeling inside as we all put on our masks when we go out and play the smiley face routine. Each day is another step to comeing to terms with our loss and inside your memories are alaways there and will never leave which is a comfort you can hold on to. The day pasted and all I can say is I felt numb and sad, but tried to celebrate his special day as he was. I hope you soon find the strength to carry on and live each day for your beautiful Julie.

Hi Barn Owl

Next Tuesday 6th would gave been my husband’s 69th Birthday. He died unexpectedly in October. I want to keep busy because I know that it will be a difficult day. I was going to visit one of our Special places but think it might be too painful on my own. I know what you mean about the ‘smiley face routine’. I can’t quite manage that but do feel I have to be seen to be ‘getting better’. One person I bumped into yesterday asked me if I had any plans to go travelling! They really have no idea what losing a lifetime partner means.

Thinking of you and all the others on this site who are trying to get through this the best way that they can.

Yvonne x

Hi Yvonne, yes I noticed that there are many other people in the same situation as us when you read all the comments on the forum. I do t co e on here every day as I cannot face to hear the sad stories.
We went to the restaurant were we had my husbands funeral meal after the cremation, I just thought it would be a lovely place to go. But from last Sunday I haven’t seen anyone so been sitting here just going back on fond memories, which sometimes is hard and I miss his conversations we had together instead of me now talking to myself. Let’s hope when the better weather comes we will all start to feel better to cope and perhaps getting in the garden and seeing new life will make us smile. I wish everyone on the site a peaceful year.

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