Birthdays, anniversaries very difficult

I know everyone grieves in their own way. Tomorrow would have been Rose’s 66th birthday and the 50th year we would have been together. The 13th September was my birthday and our 45th wedding anniversary would have been 30th August. She passed away on the 15th August this year and so she missed all those anniversary days. Tomorrow I will be meeting my daughter and son in law, we will try, between tears to celebrate her life and birthday. She loved cards so I have found one with the loveliest verse I could find and written it as I normally would, but with the added words this time “I miss you so very much”. As I write this, the tears are here again. It does hurt, it is very painful, the loneliness is like a black hole. Tomorrow though, as people tell me, is another day.
Rest easy and fly free my love.

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Anniversaries are so very hard. I’m so sorry you lost your lovely wife. I found my mums birthday and the anniversary of her passing the hardest. Dad celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary alone in lockdown. I live quite far away so couldn’t get to him. But he said he preferred it that way. He said they were together in heart and mind. On mums birthday. I wrote a letter to her and threw it into the wind off the cliffs into the sea. It helped a lot.

My mum loved cards too. I always tried to find lovely cards. With simple but meaningful words. I miss buying mum cards


Dear @Malc39200, I know you loved your Rose a lot and miss her dearly, my mum is 66, it’s too young an age for someone to die and I am so sorry it happened to your wife, anniversaries can be awful, just wanted to say that I hope you’re able to have an ok day tomorrow with your daughter and her husband.

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Thank you Abdullah, that is really kind of you. I think we will try very hard to have a good day in Rose’s honour.

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Dear @Malc39200, I found your words so very moving, particularly your description of how you bought a birthday card for your wife, and the message you wrote inside. My wife loved celebrating birthdays and special occasions, though I tended to be an old stick-in-the-mud as I was 10 years her senior, but I think I may follow your example when my wife’s birthday comes around next June. I still have her birthday cards from this year on display in the living room, along with the sympathy cards - just can’t bear to take them down yet, and don`t know when I will.

My wife died this year on my 64th birthday in mid-July, and at this stage I cannot imagine ever celebrating in any way another of my birthdays. I think I will simply make a point of visiting her grave on my birthdays instead.

I understand the tears, the hurt, and the loneliness too, all too well. I wish you and your family all the very best for tomorrow. God bless.

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Thank you so much for those thoughtful words and I am so sorry for your loss too. For many reasons the last 12 months has been horrendous for many of us. Every day there is so much sadness, on top of our own. I too have just taken down the sympathy cards to make room for birthday cards, old ones and new ones. People locally and family have been very supportive or I do not think I would want to carry on, but we are where we are and we can honour our wives I believe by celebrating the good things.