It’s almost 6 months since my darling Rob passed away. It feels like yesterday that I was sitting holding his hand and willing him to stay with me.
As we are now into a new year and trying to adjust to a new way of living, I have decided to take myself away for 2 nights to a place we both loved to visit.
So 4th January I am going to stay in York, I was meant to be in Blackpool with my sister and her children but decided some me time alone was needed in a place I love to visit.
I know Rob will be proud of all the new things I’ve accomplished in the last 5 months, and this will be my 1st time away without him or any of my family.
I just hope I can do this and make new memories to share with him when we meet again. X
Youre very brave going by yourself ! I csnt do that yet tbh… might hsve to though later in year if i want a holiday ? ! York is really lovely … my eldest daughter lives in york and been there many times … lots to do and always busy xx
I need to do something as I know if Rob was still here we would be away. After spending christmas travelling around visiting kids, I need some me time doing something on my own to prove to myself I can do it.
Same … i never gone for a meal by myself either … but if you can do it - do it … i never had to do it by myself in 37 years because my hubby was always with me see this is what i mean - no wonder i get fed up - simple thing’s like going for a meal - cant do alone so our life has now got so bloody narrow hasnt it !! God all the basic things are now so bloody hard ! Sorry just makes me mad but you must be so confident @Punto honestly you are x
Ive not gone for a meal on my own either, this will be a big step but maybe what is needed to make me do things I know I can do but never needed to. Life is short so I need to make the best of what I have, I cannt bring my Rob back but I can make him proud.
My neighbour is 83 and she lost her husband 20yrs ago and her only daughter (my friend) 2rs ago she was only 51 and now my neighbour goes everywhere on her own, she has been abroad, goes on coach trips and is never in. I told her how inspiring she was and she said to me if you depend on other people to do things with you will always be alone and she is so right. I am still working but at the weekends now I am planning places to go by myself. It’s a start
I’ve just returned home from a couple of days away. I’ve found the Christmas period - particularly the days between Christmas and the New Year - very difficult, and this year, for the first time, there was nothing preventing me from going away, so I did. I nearly bottled it, but I’m glad I didn’t. I’d booked myself plenty of things to do and see so I was occupied throughout, and I learned some of what worked and what didn’t work - for example, I tried to do too much walking and wound up with a painful back! The first step is the worst, I’ll be more confident next time.
Were all different arent we … horses for courses … theres no wrong or right way … we all in early stages of grief and still have to figure out our path …
Hello @Punto - l am a little further along this journey than you, it’s 9 months since my John died. Just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement. l made my first solo trip anywhere - including getting on a plane on my own - in November when l went to Lanzarote for a week. It was always our favourite place and l felt so close to him while l was there. I’m not going to pretend it was easy doing it alone for the first time, and there were tears, but l managed and was quite proud of myself by the end of the week. And l came home well rested - didn’t last, but it was worth it
It’ll be strange for you to be in York without your Rob, however you’re going somewhere that you already love - l agree with you on York, l live 35 or so miles north of there and we often visited - so you don’t have to worry about not knowing your way round etc. l found it handy to have something to read in my handbag when eating out while l was away. I didn’t often resort to it, but l knew l had it if l felt a bit out of things. I found it’s best to just take a deep breath and go into places - not easy when you’re naturally on the shy side - but nobody batted an eyelid about me being on my own. Hopefully you will find the same.
I will keep you all updated. I think the 1st step will be the hardest, meal out on my own. Then once I can do that I can try other 1sts. Im excited and frightened all at the same time.
It’s now 10 months since I lost Keef and I am now trying to look ahead. With that in mind I have booked a trip to Rome and Pompeii in April and one to Germany in December for the Christmas markets. I am going on coach holidays specifically for solo travellers and get taken to and from my home. It will be hard but I know I will love it, particularly because I’ve always wanted to go to Italy.
I did a Xmas market with my local coach company to Chester it was really good, only cost 20.00. Johnson coaches are all over the country and do home pick up door to door but are a lot more expensive. Can highly recommend Chester, so much to see and do.
I am planning to go away next Xmas on a 4 day coach trip to the Lake District
see this is what i mean - no wonder i get fed up - simple thing’s like going for a meal - cant do alone so our life has now got so bloody narrow hasnt it !! God all the basic things are now so bloody hard ! Sorry just makes me mad 