I bought books just after my husband died in early 2015. I was desperate and went to counselling which helped in the ensuing months.
One book i bought title The Empty Bed is by Susan Wallbank a retired bereavement counsellor. She written several articles and pamphlets and is author of Facing Grief: Bereavement and the Young Adult
Lots of books out there and i bought a couple but abandoned them…just not for me. I balked at reading it at first but did back then and have found it a very good insight into grieving and loss , hard hitting but also sensitive. It still helps me cope two and a half years since my Husbsnd passed away. When Ifeel at my lowest ebb I read a few favourite pages then put it away til the next time.
TITLE …THE EMPTY BED. SUSAN WALLBANK…ISBN 978-0-232-52639-4 PUBLISHER…DARTON.LONGMSN & TODD
Yes, WHEN MY HUSBAND DIED IN EARLY 2015 OF A SUDDEN UNEXPECTED HEART ATTACK AT HOME AND I WITNESSED HIS LAST RASPING BREATHS I MUST HAVE GONE INTO AUTO PILOT. I MANAGED TO DO THINGS,ROUTINE THINGS AS WE ALWAYS DID, LIKE PUT THE DUSTBIN OUT REGULARLY ALL SORTS OF DAILY ACTIVITIES. IWAS LIKE A ROBOT.
WE WERE GOING ON HOLIDAY TO ROME ON THE MONDAY AND WERE PACKING. HE DIED ON THE PREVIOUS THURSDAY. SO MUCH HAD TO BE DONE AND I MANAGED. THE SHOCK DIDNT REGISTER AND MANIFESTED ITSELF VERY GRADUALLY OVER TIME.I HAVE TERINLE FLADHBACKS AS THOUGH IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY…ITS SO VIVID.
I WENT TO CRUSE FOR COUNSELLING HAD MANY SESSIONS THE WAITING LIST WAS LONG BUT I WAITED. I BOUGHT BOOKS AND THE ONE I SPOKE IF THE EMPTY BED IS THE MOST COMFORTABLE READ FOR ME EVEN NOW .I GET SOLACE READING THE CHAPTERS AND EARMARK THEM. PUT IT DOWN AND PICK IT UP AS AND WHEN.
MY HUSBAND WAS A HEAVY SMOKER TOO AND IT WORRIED ME FOR A LONG TIME SND USED TO CONFISCATE HIS BACCY UNTIL HE ADKED FOR IT BACK. HE HAD RAISED CHOLESTEROL TOO BUT THE STATINS DIDNT AGREE WITH HIM AND HE DISCONTINUED THEM. STATINS WERE IN THE NEWS A LOT FOR SIDE EFFECTS AND EHETHER THEY WRRE A HOOD THING OR NOT.
I HAVE FOUND COMFORT ON HERE AND REALISE YOU ARE SUFFERING AS I AM AND I KNOW THAT I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH MY RALPH TO MY DYING DAY. I MISS HIM SO VERY MUCH AND MET HIM IN 1959 I WAS 15. WE WED IN 1964 AND HAVE TWO SONS.
I COOKED FOR HIM FOR 50 YEARS AND FINDING THAT COOKING FOR JUST MYSELF A NIGHTMARE. I HAVE LOST MY INTEREST IN FOOD AND PREPARING IT AT HOME AND TAKE MYSELF OFF AND EAT OUT SO AS TO AVOID EATING MY MAIN MEAL ESPECIALLY SUNDAYS.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING LATELY SHEILA? DO YOU FIND YOU FEEL A BIT STRONGER SOME DAYS AND THE CRASH INTO DESPAIR AND SADNESS THEN RISE UP A BIT TO FACE THE DAYS AND NIGHTS?