Hi All… I am new to this and I feel like I am falling apart. My mum died unexpectedly on Jan 3rd this year and my Dad died on Feb 15th. I just feel so overwhelmed with emotion just now and I thought I had it under control. My partner and I are splitting up to just to add to the mix. My GP has put me on Fluoxetine. Does it get better at any point because I feel like I am sinking x
Hi. Hassle. A double whammy! Gosh, the pain of one loss is bad enough and the added domestic issues can’t help. I am really sorry to hear that.
Having emotion under control?. Very difficult. But why try and control it? Control means straining to stop it when emotion can hardly be stopped in your circumstances.
I’m not suggesting you open up to all at any time, but emotions need to be released in a place where you feel comfortable. Here is a good place because you are among friends who know.
It does get better, but by how much depends on the individual. There is no time scale or set way in which to grieve. You feel as if you are falling apart, disintegrating, collapsing in a heap! Oh yes, but take heart. There is no one on this site who has not felt that. I began to doubt my sanity at first. It’s all part of this awful process called grief.
Can you talk to anyone? A trusted friend or better still a counsellor. With domestic problems and bereavement you should not try and go it alone. We all need help at times and there’s no shame in asking for it.
I’m glad you came here because you will find help and some reassurance. When you feel emotional let it come. See it as waves breaking over your head. No fighting or struggling with ‘IT’. The process will happen like it or not, so try and make it as easy as possible on yourself.
I am in no way minimising how you feel. God knows I do know. Memories will come so let them.
Now take care of yourself. It’s very early for you and hard. If we can help here come back and talk. Blessings.
Hi Jonathan… thank you for your kind words. I know you are right- I need to stop trying to control my emotions and just roll with it. It gives me comfort that other people know what this is like. It’s like the darkest of never ending caves … just when I think I can see light , it swallows me up again. Thank you again xxx
Hi Hassle. Even caves may have a way out at the end. It’s a good analogy. When this awful thing happens we do enter a dark cave. The only light we have is that little glimmer of hope. As faint as it may be it does show the way. Not everyone sees it at first, and it’s all so dark and frightening.
We will never forget, but we can learn to live with the memories and some pain. Those little glimpses of light you have now and then can build into some relief. ‘Swallows you up’ is a good description. It feels just like that. It’s not long ago you had your loss so take it easy. Blessings.