Both parents gone in a year.

My dad died last May. The whole 12 month’s have been hell. I’ve even started seeing a councillor because I just can’t handle life without him. The only thing that’s been keeping me going is my wonderful strong amazing mum. My mum died suddenly three weeks ago. She was only 65. No signs of illness. She died on what would’ve been my dad’s birthday! I’m only 34 and my parents have been taken away from me. My best friends. My protectors.
I feel no need to carry on now. Life means nothing without them.

Dear Kate, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s unimaginable for me to understand your feelings right now. I lost my mom 3 weeks ago and I’m still in denial. My brain just refuses to believe she’s gone.
What you’re going through is tragic and horrible, however, think about your folks looking over you from above and wanting you to be strong and carry on. They would want to be proud of their little girl, wouldn’t they? So you must keep strong for them, for the memory of them. If you ever need to talk - I’m here. Julia, aka, Julzz

I’m sorry for your loss too. Denial is a wonderful thing isn’t it. It’s what makes you able to get up in the morning. I’m dreading the day when it really sinks in.

Hi KateKate,

I am so terribly sorry. You have been dealt a really bad hand. The shock of losing your mum must have hit you like a sledge hammer so soon after your dad.

Unfortunately I really can empathise with what you are going through. I lost my dad in 2017 then a few weeks later my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I cared for her and then lost her a year after my dad. It really is the pits.

Have you siblings? I was an only child and my parents meant everything to me.

I am a year down the line now and Julzz is right. I think what would my mum and dad say, what would they want me to do and how can I continue to make them proud. It gets me through. That and taking one day at a time.

I’m really sorry you are struggling too Julzz. Just be kind and patient with yourself. This grief thing is hard.

Sending virtual hugs.

Ann xx

I’m so sorry to hear of your double loss. It is definitely something you can’t explain to people that aren’t going through it.
I have a brother and a sister. They don’t live close but my sister has been helping out a lot. I lived with my parents, we were a team and best friends. Now I’m alone in this big house and I feel lost.
I find myself getting angry at my mum. How could she DO this! How could she leave us.

Hi KateKate,

Anger is normal. Let it out. I used to scream while in the car as I was so angry with the awful situation I was in.

I don’t feel angry really now, just with people who don’t appreciate their parents. And there are a lot of people like that unfortunately who don’t realise how lucky they are.

Must be tough living on your own suddenly but I’m glad your sister is a support. Are other people like at work or friends being supportive too?

Ann xx

Hi KateKate,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost both your parents within a year, and that you feel that life means nothing without them. You were clearly very close to your mum, especially after your dad died, and it sounds as though you may also have lived with her, so there will be a huge hole in your life. Your mum’s death must have been a huge shock and probably brought back a lot of the grief about your dad.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here and have had some supportive replies. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about these thoughts of not wanting to carry on.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

We offer online bereavement counselling to members of this community. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

Priscilla

Lost mum this Feb just gone, which was a shock, then 16 weeks to the day lost my dad. Feeling so alone

That’s awful, I get the loneliness. There’s no pain like it. I’m so sorry for your losses.
I wish there was something I could say to make us all feel better but there just isn’t.

Hi Sassy76

Your head must be spinning. I am so sorry for your losses too.

Have you got much support? This forum has been such a help to me so I hope you find the same.

Sending a hug

Ann xx

Hi Kate,

Sorry for your loss. I’ve lost both my parents. It’s a very surreal. Lost my father two months ago. First 2 months I didn’t want to leave my house, a real struggle to do anything. Now I’ve gone the other way , I have to keep busy otherwise I will over think

Just my husband and I. Other fsmily are more concerned about money

My whole world has come down

Hi everyone

Just wondered how you are all doing? I’m missing my mum and dad so much this evening. It really is such a hard journey we are on.

Take care
Ann xx

Hi Kate,

We are of the same age. I was suicidal myself 2 days ago. Your parents would want YOU TO LIVE for them.

If you are blessed with kids, then please think of your children. I live for my kids. You have a purpose in life. JUST HANG IN THERE!

Hi. I have ups and downs but carrying on.

No we dont have children.