Broken Hearted

Hi all, I am new to the group (David5) I lost my partner 6 weeks ago due to pancreatic cancer, she was diagnosed end of July 2021, and Susan passed away 21.10 21, today I have had a complete meltdown , and if it weren’t for my dog I would join Susan, the way I feel at the moment I won’t get through Christmas, I am absolutely torn in bits, and the house feels empty and cold, is this going to be how things feel for the rest of my life ( I am 63 )

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Hi David5

I am a lot further on than you having lost my husband in July, at the beginning all I wanted was to join him but like you I also had dogs that relied on me for everything, so I stayed on the planet for them. I just want you to know that I don’t feel like that anymore, things are still tough but I no longer feel like killing myself, I am not bothered either way if I live or die but I’m not actively thinking of ending it myself so things do change, very slowly & different moods & feelings take turns with one another. A friend who lost his wife 25 years ago explained it as being like a one armed bandit, you pull the lever & you never know what mood or feeling your going to get. It’s certainly an emotional roller coaster, a ride none of us want to be on x

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Exactly how I feel too. Early days I wanted to die too. Then I would look at our gorgeous cockerpoo and know I had to stay put. Again I don’t actively look to not be here but if I died tomorrow so be it

Dee xxx

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hi David5 Its been a few months since my husband passed away .The meltdowns come and they go so i just take each day as it comes .If you want to cry scream and shout then do .Each day is so different so do what’s right for you. Christmas will come and go and if your like me l don’t want to have anything to do with it although its pretty hard to hide away from with tv radio shops and internet banging on about it none stop. Your little dog needs you now more than ever and they also feel the loss .So chat away to your lovely dog and share cuddles this can help you feel a little less low .My thoughts are with you and everyone who is suffering so much out there.

Hi David,

I am so sorry for your loss and the searing pain that you are feeling…
My husband passed away thirty four weeks ago and today I am crying inside all day long…
Many weeks ago a few of us spoke about ending it… We realised that we would not end up in the same place as our loved one if we took action; so we all did a pinky swear not to take action…. One day our pain will end.
I, too, have a little dog who goes and lies on my husband’s bed… it is heartbreaking, so we cuddle each other…
This community has always helped and listened many times, so do put down your thoughts and feelings…
I send a big hug of warm comfort…

Beetango

Your early days David lost my husband 13month ago it’s so hard cry everyday but not all day but the pain does ease annie x