Buddy system

I don’t know if this will help anyone but I wanted to share with you the buddy system my mother in law and I have agreed and been doing since my hubby passed. Every morning and night we text/say good morning , enjoy your day etc and at night we always text goodnight etc. This helps her deal with the loss of her son and it helps me to know that I have human contact at night (the hardest time for me) and that someone is thinking of me. X


Hi. SL. I love your posts and especially this one. It emphasises the importance of human contact. We need each other more than we know. ‘Someone is thinking of me’. Oh yes, but we are not alone because every night I think of everyone on here and send blessings.
I’m sorry you find nights difficult. It’s the opposite with me. Mornings are not good.
Thoughts do stick in one’s mind. There is no way to stop them; even distraction is only temporary, so I suggest letting them come. Not wallowing in them or in self pity, but accepting that it will happen. Going along with it, bending with the wind. No resistance to emotions.
I’m not suggesting you do that, no way, but I am just pointing out the possibilities.
I like that, ‘the buddy system’. Love, understanding and companionship are all things I value more than ever now. They are very apparent on this site.
Take care and Blessings.


Thank you. Nights are only bad for me because I still have ongoing issues with my husbands estate and family businesses, I know that my husband would be very upset and that is what keeps me awake. The buddy system works well for us my mother in law is 90 and it helps me know she is ok and it helps her feel she is looking after me. A win win situation. Perhaps we should start a Morning/Night thread for people to check in with each other. X

Hi Silverlady, How nice that you & your MIL have each other for support at this difficult time. You are right, it works for both of you. After my Mother died my sister & I were “Grief Buddies.” We shared our bad days (and better days) and always said good morning and goodnight, and spoke about our day. We prayed together and saw each other through the painful anniversaries, birthdays, holidays without our dear mother. We both often said we would not have gotten through the loss without each other.
A year ago I suddenly lost my best friend and “Buddy” to cancer. Now there is no one to connect with on a daily basis anymore. I need her to help me through losing her, if that makes sense. Having a " human lifeline" when one is sinking does make all the difference in this grief journey. Friends and distant family are not always available. Having an “every day person” is a gift. I miss texting & talking to my sister each day. I miss my Buddy. Xxx

Hi All I don’t know wether anyone can help perhaps this is not the thing to post on here,I am now on my own and wondered if anyone knew of a way of informing the authorities if I passed away in my sleep or collapsed,I have a nephew who may call or text once in a blue moon I could easily be undiscovered a week,a month ,who knows it is a matter of knowing something because of my little dog on her own very important to me that she would be taken care of as soon as possible after my death.
Sorry if this is a morbid post on here but just to know she would taken care of quickly would put my mind at rest.
Kind regards and thoughts MM69

It’s not morbid to me. It’s practical. I’m in the same position MM69, and have been thinking about it. I have 2 cats, and I did put a note in my wallet saying there were 2 cats in my home in case of an auto accident. I have no next of kin, or anyone to call in case of emergency. We do have the SPCA (in Canada) and I believe they could help with my cats if needed. But in the back of my mind, I wonder what will happen to them if something happens to me.

Hi H.D thankyou for your reply I’m in the U.K and having difficulty finding someway or something that can help me we have the R.S.P.A OR DOGS TRUST and I have given written permission for man across the road to take possession of her if anything happens to me he is in is eighties I am 70 it is just that matter of what you might call automatic warning to say she is on her own and needs help at the time.
Kind thanks MM69

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