I lost my partner suddenly 20/9/2022. I miss him so much and struggling to cope. I miss him so much and feel so alone. I can’t sleep and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m currently on sertraline to help but feel like they are suppressing my feelings and emotions. I want to stay in bed 24/7 however have been back at work for 4weeks (teacher). I struggle all day everyday but everyone seems to think I’m ok already. I’m not, far from it. We also haven’t been able to lay him to rest and found out today his body won’t be released for another 8 weeks. How do I get through this unbearable pain? He also worked opposite my house so find myself staring out the window hoping to see him, stupid I know, I know he’s no longer here. I beg to see him in my dreams, to see his face again but I never do. I feel so lost and alone.
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources with you that may help you right now.
Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief: https://griefguide.sueryder.org/
Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS: https://sueryder.grief.coach/
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat: https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through - https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
You will get through,because you have to. Does it get easier no not really, you just learn to cope with it as best you can. you will always look for him and no its not stupid, iv been looking for my sue every day since she left you/i always will its normal, has regards dreams i have the same wishes has you, but i seen her in my dreams only once fleetingly, its a sad existence we live at the moment, all we can do is be thankful for the time we had and that special love we shared with our loved ones, i dont see me sharing that again with anyone has i feel right now xxx take care and keep your chin up be thankfull to have had that time, some arnt so lucky
Hi Kacey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Like you I long to see some sign of Martin. That he’s near me. Sometimes I get a wee glimmer but mostly I just feel a complete void. But I keep hoping and looking. I’m quite literal so I’m looking for the full on apparition and coming to realise that just won’t happen. I talk to him a lot…don’t care who hears…and I write to him. Sometimes it helps to jog my memory, sometimes not. It’s been 13 weeks tonight. Take care of yourself xx
Thank you both for your replies.
It’s just so hard. Everyone says it gets easier but it really doesn’t. While I’m not the crying mess I was, the more time that passes the harder it gets as it’s longer since I’ve seen and spoken to him.
The heartbreak and devastation is so overwhelming and consuming.
I too speak to him, before I sleep and when I wake up in the morning, think about him all the time and hope for a sign that he is here with me.
I finally found my person who loved me for me and he was taken away far too soon and only 36. Life is so unfair and so cruel.
Hi Kacey, I lost my husband in April and felt very similar to you. I hoped for something to happen - a message from him, anything. Then, a robin appeared in the garden throughout summer and was often sitting on the window ledge, it even ventured into the conservatory. It is still about in the garden and when I open the door it chirps away loudly.
We bought a beautiful rose and planted it with my husbands ashes, so he is in the garden all the time. Today, my sons birthday, there was a white feather caught in the leaves of the rose tree which just felt like my husband wanting to be part of the day.
Wishing you all the best over the following weeks waiting to lay him to rest xxx
You will but you as you will have to do I had all that as waited for a report . I wake up endless times in the night but getting less . Honestly it is crap but we have to carry on. I miss the cuddles and the early are you up call . Now I get on with Dawn just plough on as he would want you to. #
Just an update on my reply i would say iv sensed sue in our bedroom on about 5 occasions now in as much has i smell her purfume move past me she alway wore clinique happy purfume and my girls orepared their mother they dressed ger and done her hair and nails and finally applied her perfume, very brave of them and they did s remarkable job dhe looked beautiful and just asleep, but eithout doubt i belive she visits me and i take great pride in it, it comforts me strangely its normally around 1 and 2 am