Can’t feel any hope for future

Today is hard. Lost my mum and dad last year. They were massive in my life, they were brilliant parents to me and I miss them dearly.

I’ve been doing ok I suppose and I started clearing their house a couple of weeks ago. And it’s got to me today so I’ve just sat watching crap tv or sleeping.

My fella isn’t a dweller so doesn’t know what to do or say when I’m like this. I just want to be alone. Part of me wants to tell him to bugger off and find someone else who’ll make him happy. I don’t need the pressure of trying.

I check social media and everyone is happy. I’m not.

I’m ugly, fat, lonely and just feel absolutely hopeless. I have no want to do anything.

I have anxiety so go nowhere. The thought of going for a walk around my area fills me with dread. What will people think of me, I’m a mess. Gained so much weight and food is my friend.

I know how to eat healthily and I could exercise at home. I just don’t.

I’m having CBT privately over the phone each week.

Today is just a horrible day where life just feels rubbish.

Dear Parrot09

You have lost two important people in your life over a very short period. I have only tackled the garage after loosing my husband and I know the emotional challenges that this posed so I can only imagine the impact clearing your parent’s house has had on you. Grief is emotionally draining and also does create times when you want to be alone in your thoughts. I know that my son sometimes withdraws into a quiet place when something has triggered a memory relating to his dad. Your fella probably wants to comfort you but also does not want to say the wrong thing.

I am trying to avoid social media as it causes me great upset. So many people appear to be going about their lives when we are suffering. Give yourself a break from it or at least snooze those friends/family whose posts are causing the most distress - that’s what I have done.

I lost my husband in September and do not have the energy to think about my personal appearance - but I would not worry about what others think. If they have negative thoughts then that’s their problem not yours. I am the opposite I am not eating and have lost a considerable amount of weight. I think we just somehow have to get the balance right - easier said than done I know.

I am glad to see that you are having CBT - I know this helped both my son and daughter and eventually brought them out of dark places.

Just take one day at a time.

Thinking of you.
Sheila

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I know exactly how you feel with everything, I lost my dad in jan to covid and I feel like a part of me has died

I have no Interest in anything or anyone, I too have put weight on so totally get it but I’m in no place to do anything about it

I have pushed away the people that means the most and just want to be on my own with no noise.

It makes me sound really miserable doesn’t it I just can’t cope with unnecessary crap.

Dont believe anything you see on social media, its all fake…and I feel angry that the world carrys on and my life has stopped and grieving is so bloody hard

You take care

X

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Thank you so much you two for taking the time to reply.

It’s just overwhelming isn’t it. I also just want to be left alone. Everything is irritating me right now, my fella in particular (poor sod).

I think I will take a break from social media. I hope i can get over this little glitch soon. Don’t like feeling like this.

Please don’t worry about what you look like, if you want to go for a walk then go…honestly we worry more about what we look like than other people do, and people who care about us won’t worry about weight gain they will be understanding for what we have been through.

And if other people have a problem so what…let it be there problem.

Just focus on your feelings and if food comforts you at the mo then so be it

Baby steps thats what I have to think…

Please don’t worry

Xx

Take care. Will be thinking of you.

Sheila