Can’t take this pain anymore

Hi there My name is Jo it’s so very sad to read all your heart felt messages.

I have struggled badly with the passing of my mum.
Its the 1st anniversary since my mum passed away with dementia. The pain has not gotten any easier. I have felt at times I don’t want to be here any more.
I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I feel so lost and low I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I just want my mums back

Hello Jo,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and that you sometimes feel that you don’t want to be here anymore.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Another good place to get support is your GP, you can ask to be referred to counselling or support services in your local area.

Take care,


Online Community team

Thank you I appreciate your reply and giving me the information you have.

Hi Jo, I’m so sorry that you are suffering this. My husband died 5 months ago and every day since was hellish for me with every day consumed by thoughts of killing myself and later feeling like I couldn’t do that and then feeling worse than dead. I started counselling in January and that started to help me a bit. Though I still felt terrible and hopeless and like I had seen the chaos underneath life and couldn’t go back to living on the surface with everyone else anymore.

Two weeks ago I started on Anti-Depressants against my will really as I never believed in drugs (despite that diazepam got me through the time just before Christmas when I was particularly suicidal). The first week was very tough but now I am starting to see light again and feel calm sometimes. I’m not sure how long this will work for but as a previous cynic who hardly went to my GP and regarding drugs with suspicion I recommend speaking to your GP and seeing what they recommend. I was told the NICE (NHS) guidelines recommend a combination of talking therapy and prescription medication until you can cope enough to build some kind of life and then come off both… I hope you can find some relief somehow. Life will never be the same and neither will we but maybe we can learn to live with it somehow. Take care and good luck.