After I lost my parents, I cannot go to new places.
I was to take a job in another city. I could not and one reason was
I can’t handle a new place.
I traveled a lot and to Norway to see family. I could not go even if I was invited.
I am not able.
I can handle very little in terms of new places. I feel psychologically unable. My loss was in 2016.
There is no way I could manage. And I accept it as I have no interest, anyway.
I only want the familiar. I could not have anticipated this. But after several years of pandemic on top of it, I just shut it all down.
Besides, travel is so unpleasant now. But otherwise, I lost all interest. Is this long-term grief, does anyone know? Thank you.
Our lives change when we lose someone who played a huge part in our old one. It changes such that we do somethings we couldn’t before, and stop doing things we really never wanted to do anyway. Wether it’s long term grief or not doesn’t really matter, it’s just as it is. It might change in time and you will become more adventurous, or it might not. Just relax and go with the flow.
Enjoy your life as it is at the time. Good luck.
Hello @berit. So sorry for the loss of your parents. I can relate to some of what you say in terms of loss of interest and antipathy , though mine are more to do with old familiar activities which are now like torture to me.
I think depression may be involved, in addition to grief. I find I no longer enjoy things I used to when my parents were alive. I have no family and am retired and did not realise how I had built my life around mum after dad died. Mum died in 2020 and now I cannot bear to do things, go places or eat things we used to enjoy together. I used to love doing cryptic crosswords, jigsaw puzzles, gardening, quizzes on tv. To do these things now distresses me enormously and gives me bad anxiety.
But I think, for me at least, this is more a result if the severe depression and anxiety that have come in and are now layered on top of my grief.
I am trying hard to combat these now by doing new things, by volunteering with 3 charities to give me purpose, by and meeting new people to combat the social anxiety I have also developed.
It’s a struggle, but keeps me going more through each day than trying to keep doing the things we used to share, which now just feel like torture.
I say I try to meet new people because former friends have distanced themselves, and I know it isn’t their fault, they do not know what to say or do to help me, but I know I need to stop being so lonely and I know it’s up to me to seek out new acquaintances.
So as @tykey says yes our lives change, and we change - and from my experience I realise there’s no going back, and putting things right, we do have to go with the flow and try to find things to occupy ourselves and enjoy.
I seem to need to find new things, but if your loss of interest is in new places and new things, why not just focus on keeping busy with those things you have always done. I think it must be individual to each of us, but the common theme is loss of interest and great mental pain, either through grief or depression or change or all of these. We need to find our zest for life again, our curiosity and enjoyment. However we do it.
I think it boils down to we need to make peace with our grief, learn to let it accompany us without allowing it to completely control us. If that makes sense?
Wishing you well xx