I think we should all focus on the fact WE WERE THERE and try to let go of the guilt and place it with the one’s who weren’t. They took no responsibility for caring so why should we take the responsibility of their guilt upon ourselves.
We didn’t ask to be in that situation in the first place but from love and compassion we took on the role and did our best and I’m hearing it’s normal to feel upset, tired, frustrated and annoyed because caring for someone you love and watching them deteriorate is hurtful, we feel hopeless and helpless we can’t save them.
BUT WE TRIED AND THAT’S ENOUGH 
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Couldn’t put it better Ean!
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Easier said than done. Maybe we just love too much
Hi, I spoke to a psychic and she told me I didn’t comfort my my mum enough. She got everything bang on with everything else. My mum had dementia and cried a lot, it was difficult to comfort her when she told me she hated me and things like thet. Also, the amount of work I had to do for her kept me away sometimes from her crying and I was tired. I did give her hugs and kisses, when I went out shopping I’d give her a hug and kiss, if she went to hospital I would, also. I feel really guilty about this, though, should I?
Don’t fell guilty looking after someone with dementia is hard I looked after my mum I gave her kisses everyday but you still fell guilty especially when they don’t no you anymore I use to shower mum and she would try and bite my hand I think that was her telling me she didn’t want a shower I think guilt is part and parcel of death if only we done this and that said this said that your mum will no you love her and she loved you xxx
A true psychic would never give negative feedback and your mother in the spirit world will be whole and free of her earthly body inflictions and suffering. I’m very spiritual, I’ve been aware since childhood, there’s another realm, our bodies are just vehicles to travel through this part of our process, to learn and evolve for our main purpose in the everlasting life. On the other side, there’s only light and love. Even though I know this, I beat myself up for my guilt for how I acted and felt looking after my dad but I know it’s the earthly conditioning creating these feelings, in the Heavenly realm, my dad totally understands and has nothing but love towards me, as your mum will for you
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Can I ask do they remember us in spirit
They’re absolutely with us, never left. I ‘died’ after an overdose in 2006 and had to come back because it wasn’t my time. I’ve researched afterlife and the body dies but the soul lives on.
All the fear, grief, pain, greed etc is man made in our time here on earth. For those who can endure all the obstacles and evil on earth and still have good hearts and intentions in life, we’re chosen as healers, we might not realise we’re making a difficult but we are to someone, somewhere. All the love we feel has a domino effect around the world. One smile can save a life 
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Hello
You did everything you could in very difficult circumstances.
We do question ourselves, think we could have done more or done it differently, I felt exactly the same after caring for my mum through terminal cancer.
Mum wouldn’t have all the help that was offered to her, very proud and independent. It meant the family had to shoulder it. I felt bad for wishing my Mum would accept more support.
Over time, after mum passed away I realised I’d been completely exhausted and for my Mum, it was the one thing she could control, have a say in. I could see it from both sides.
Remember to see it from your side. You did the very best for your Mum and you were there for her.
Hi Beki, how are you?
Things are difficult for me. My mum didn’t have any severe pain problems, but she did when she had bowel movements. The doctors had prescribed dihydrocodeine and paracetomel. But I know dhydrocodeine can cause bowel problems such as constipation… so I only gave her paracetomol. I thought this was best at the time, but the pain she was in with every movement, I’m doubting my judgement. What do you think? Give her a painkiller that’s just going to cause her more pain?
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to be quiet honest some people cant cope with caring for people who are ill And thats just the way some people are . i have read on here that some werent there caring for ill loved one It didnt mean they didnt care maybe they just couldnt cope as everyone is human and we are all different . people need to accept that
dont have a go at people when you dont know their motives for not being there
i wasnt there for my father but it didnt mean i didnt care
everyone is different
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Pain management is such a tough thing - heck even the doctors can’t get it right. My mum had to have massive pain relief all the time, which in turn caused bowel issues, which caused pain, just as movement caused pain, but not moving caused pain so its is a vicious circle.
We learned to manage, better than the doctors because we were living it 24/7, what triggered her pain, what helped and what was a distracting comfort but not actual pain relief. So yes the doctors would prescribe X, which didn’t really help and we knew the side effects were more problematic in the long run so we steered away from them very much in the way you have described.
Doubting your judgement and the guilt is very natural, like the subconscious brain hitting you with a stick but you did all you could.
Have you seen the doctor yourself to talk over these feelings and be reassured you did the best possible, or perhaps a counsellor - it might help to let it out.
Hi, it was the side effects that worried me about these pills, knowing my mother was in hospital twice for bunged up intestines. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get it right, because there wasn’t a right.
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