Census 2021

Has anyone else done their census form?
I’ve just completed mine online, it is the first one I have ever filled in without adding Karen.
I loathe this gradual wiping her out of existence, it makes me feel as if I am being disloyal to the memory of her and I hate myself for being compliant in assisting.
Not feeling my best at the moment

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Hello
Yes I felt the same had water bill just my name on it
Then council tax bill 25 percent off
Wow what a sledgehammer to the heart
Hate bank statements coming in
Hate any post with just my name on it
Broken-hearted take care x

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Dear RichardM

I thought it was just me who was dreading the completion of the census form. Not completed it yet but really cannot face it.

Sheila

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Dear Debbie

The system and processes just conspire against us - hammering home each time that we have lost them and they are no longer with us. Most organisations have shown some empahty but it hurts all the same. I always come off the phone feeling quite pathetic. I read my tax bill and cried when I saw the ‘single occupancy’ discount. I hate the labels that we are now given and do not want.

Take care.
Sheila

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Hi all you feel like your erasing them from our lives I had to go through probate the worst thing they informed me I had to take Micks name of the title deeds to our house, our home for 36 years. Informed me to put widow sorry hate that word I refused and stated I’m Mrs.
I also hate the labels
Take care x

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Dear Kim

Probate is on-going. I refuse to use the term ‘widow’. One organisation insisted until I pointed out that people can now be ‘gender neutral’ (which I have no problem with) therefore I can and will remain ‘Mrs’. They conceded.

Take care.
Sheila

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Mother’s Day was hard for me, I lost my husband suddenly 10 weeks ago and not having card from him devastated me, we were together my whole adult life and this is the first one without him

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Hi Debbie. Isn’t it strange how we are all affected differently on our journey. I never even noticed when the Bill’s came in with just my name on because I always dealt with the finances anyway. I wasn’t even affected on Valentines day because Ron was not a great fan of the occasion. What bothers me more than anything is the thought of having a holiday without my husband. I have such wonderful holiday memories and my Ron was a sun worshipper and was always brown even in Winter. I can’t stand the thought of getting on a plane again or having a snack at the airport. Or sitting on a plane without him because he always had to have the window seat. It tears at my stomach to even think of going anywhere I had been with him because I would re live every second of it. it’s well over two years now since he passed but the memories just make me feel desolate.

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No @Sheila26 it’s not just you, I have been dreading doing it, I knew it wouldn’t be good for me.
I hope you can find the strength to tackle your form over the weekend

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@xxx yes you can do it earlier as long as update you it if anything changes.
Living on my own in lockdown, what is likely to change? I’m glad you have managed to get the form out of the way.
Ten years ago we were middle forties, I never dreamed that the next one would have me as a widower living alone

@Debbie55 I thought I had got past the dealing with officialdom stage, but the census form has brought it all back

Hello All. I too felt that the Census form was another blow to bereaved people. I filled mine in online but had no choice when it came to status and I had to tick ‘widow’.
I hate that term as I will always be Mike’s wife.
We will get through this somehow by supporting each other.
Love and light. x

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Hello
We always went away Oct or November abroad
We loved winter sun Andy always had window seat
I hate flying he loved it
Can’t stand the thought off going anywhere without Andy
So hard and painful
Take care x

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Richard Thank you I thought it was only me that broke down and sobbed at the census form, my daughter had to do it how can we just eradicate our partner’s.
Today is our youngest daughters 23rd birthday I’m trying hard but I’m broken he isn’t here how just how do you carry on living when they were the reason we were happy,

Julie
Virtual hugs :yellow_heart:

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@Quarterman

Julie, at least your form (and mine) are now done.
I’m still not comfortable with it, or with the labels which are now attached to us.
I hope you manage to find a smile for your daughter’s birthday and raise a glass to your partner

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I quote I read:-

I’m not a widow, I’m a wife.
My husband awaits me on the other side.

Jay

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I cant be a widow
We were not married
On his death certificate I had to be the person that found him dead
That was so hard and unfair I was his partner
I was the person that shared 25 fantastic years with the love of my life
So I’m definitely not looking forward to filling it this form
Xx

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I refuse to let myself be called the W word! I am Clive’s wife and he is my husband. Just because our relationship has changed, that doesn’t mean it’s over. It will never be over.

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Dear Skywise

I know what our vows said but like you I am Ian’s wife, always will be. Cannot bear to start the census but obviously have to at some point.

Take care all.

xxxx

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I hate filling out forms when you have to fill out status.
Writing the W word breaks my heart a bit more.

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