@Popsygirl1950 try not to feel guilty, I know it’s easier said than done, sometimes we have to try and minimise the sadness and grief we are constantly surrounded by. I haven’t been sleeping since he passed and being in our bed alone wasn’t helping. I’m slowly changing the us to me otherwise I will end up like Miss Haversham in Great Expectations…I have slept better than ever since having it so hope you will be the same
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Thankyou for your words they have helped me feel better about it what you said is so true. I lost my husband in october 23 seems as though it was yesterday. Its hard
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Hiya. I have a new bed too! And lots of lovely girly bedding! I know lots of people can’t bear to change anything for fear of losing the feeling of their loved one being there but I have been the opposite. I just wanted to create my own space filled with things that make me feel better and that is what I have done. And I love my home because of it. It’s my sanctuary. Of course there are some reminders of Alan but I feel very strongly that my life now is about me and what I need to do to move forward. That sounds very selfish doesn’t it. But it isn’t: it’s about what I have to do to survive. I wish with all my heart that Alan could come back but that’s not an option. Making a new future for myself is and that’s what I have to concentrate on. We all have to do what is best for us but change has worked wonders for me! I hope everyone finds some peace and some happiness in today x
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For me personally, I have to try and establish my own identity/individuality once again and one that is no longer part of a couple. It’s extremely hard but slowly and bit by bit I am in replacing mode (material things that is) that can become mine the new me. I have started decorating today…never done it before and my god I have got more paint on me than I have anywhere else lol. Again, I have to know I can do these things by myself. It’s the crossing over part of the grief/new life, creating my own space. The only thing I can’t change is the awful loneliness of not belonging but hopefully time will help
Have a lovely weekend everyone
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I forgot to add, I think I have had too many gins lately lol as I have leapt of the cliff and booked Christmas 2024 away, by myself in the Lake District, I made up mind I couldn’t spend another Xmas like the one just gone. The Lakes are like my 2nd home and know it like the back of my hand so I don’t feel too much out of my depth, am I terrified? You bet I am. … it’s a 5 day coach break so there will be others. I do drive but that was too much to do alone
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Lyn, that’s fabulous. I love the lakes and it will be beautiful at Christmas. I wish there was somewhere that did maybe a house party so that we (the bereaved) could get together for a different kind of Christmas. I’m off on my first solo cruise next month. I have cruised a lot (with Alan) so it will be familiar and I have found some people who are also going on their own via facebook. It’s still a bit daunting but, on the whole, I’m excited. Much love x
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Thank you, it’s a lovely time of the year to be in The Lakes but it also holds a lot of memories as we went 3 times a year but I am hoping by then the happier memories will overtake the heartache, we can but see.
Wow solo cruise go you! I am going on one too but with friends and like you hopefully with the view of doing a solo one. We both loved cruises. We all need something nice to look forward to after all what we have been through and we all deserve a nice holiday/break. Keep going forwards x
ps I love the idea of a house/dinner party for the bereaved 
, where we all feel we belong and we could all just have fun, I do long to shake free of all of this and just be carefree and happy for a bit
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