I went to shops this morning. I just want to cry. My husband of 40 years died in May , he loved Christmas. He was the one that put decorations up, me and him always did Christmas shopping. Today just hearing Christmas music got me tearful. I just left and went home and cried my eyes out. My heart is broken.
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@Hazell I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my partner of 35 years at the end of July and my heart is broken 
.
The nearer we get to Christmas the harder it seems to get, trying to present a normal front for family and friends. I cried while writing out cards and signing them just from me, I cry when I get cards, either because they are just for me or, even worse, from people who don’t know of his passing and send them to us both. In fact I seem to spend a lot of time crying at the moment
I’m going to my daughters for Christmas and although I’m grateful at the same time I am so sad not to be here at home which is where we have spent our Christmas’s together for the last few years as Chris liked to be in his own home for Christmas.
They say the first year is the worst, facing all events for the first time and I really hope that’s true as I truly don’t think I can go through this again
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Same here ! I dont want to be here anymore … i just want to go be with him ! I cant do "life " anymore and i have cancelled xmas … cant do it ! I will have to get something to eat i suppose ! Will go to m&s and maybe buy something to have for my dinner … what a life… why am i here ? Absolutely no.idea ? Are we being punished for something cos sure feels like it !! I always tried to help people all my life and what good has it done me ? None at end of the day xx
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My husband always wanted to be at home Christmas day. Unfortunately i cant face that this year. I am going to my daughters and i know it will be a sad day for us all.
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Hello everyone
It’s so raw for you all now
Even after 5 years of my husband death i find xmas hard
ITS OK TO NOT BE OK though
You all need to do what’s best for you
Cancel Xmas
Stay in bed all day
Cry all day
Time does make it easier to deal with life
You learn to cope with the loss
You will always be heartbroken though
You all have made lovely memories with the ones that you have loss so if you can hold on to that this festive season it might make it more bearable
When it gets tough come on this site and share your thoughts feelings we are all here for each other
Take care xx
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@Deb5 your words are so like I am feeling . It’s not a good existence without our wonderful partners . I try to be sociable but I always think it’s not right to do anything without him . I have been such a good person and kind to everyone I meet so why do I deserve this … why . Why do you
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Hi Deb
I totally understand this I to can’t stand this life. What are we supposed to do now spend it alone in heartbreak. I don’t understand, what the universe’s purpose
To leave us in pain. Family are around and try and cheer me up. God love them. But I can’t wait for them to go then I can release the pain.
I just don’t know any more
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I dont know what the universes purpose is either to just be unhappy until the day we drop dead ??? ! I knew it was gonna be hard without my love but never this hard xx
I agree. Something better change soon.
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