Christmas

My mum died at beginning of September. I was numb feeling for most of September and October. November was my 40th birthday and i have struggled to cope thorough november and still am struggling. I put a christmas tree up because I thought it would help. I feel so unchristmassy. I’m not looking forward to it, my dad is expecting it to be the same as every other Christmas and it just won’t be without mum. I can’t not go back to my parents if I dont go then it gives my sister the option to not go and she is struggling too. My dad also wouldn’t be happy nor understand why I want to be alone at christmas.

My manager at work could see I wasn’t coping so switched me to one task and reduced me to working 2 day weeks for December. My manager has been my main support in work. Her dad died last Thursday and she is now off for the foreseeable. My team has had 3 people lose someone plus me in the last 3 months. I’m also autistic/adhd. My dr has changed my anxiety medication which is probably not helping how I am feeling.

The question I can’t decide on an answer. Should I take down my tree or do something with it to stop it being so painful to see. I have decorations my mum bought me or I bought when I was away with mum.

Sorry for the long post

Hi Jkc

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Holidays and special occasions can be an especially painful time - and often even more so when they’re the ‘firsts’. Please know that there is lots of support available if you need it. We have advice and support on coping with grief at Christmas on our website.

As well as the online community, we also offer a range of online bereavement support services that might be helpful to you. You can explore these at sueryder.org/support.

Take care, Naoise