Don’t know how everyone else is feeling but I can guess. Getting through xmas is going to be hard. The Christmas tree is up but I feel so numb. I have 3 beautiful small grandchildren and 2 lovely daughters who are my reason for engaging in the festives. Myself and my late husband loved christmas and all the excitement again having children around, I sit here looking at the tree in all its glory and dread the big day without him xx
Hi Elaine know exactly how you feel,this is my first christmas after losing husband in March this year.I havent put a tree up,i have put a few christmas ornaments dotted about and a string of holly lights,and i put 3 robins in a plant in the kitchen,thats about it,like you i have daughters and grandchildren who visit,so have to muster up some cheer,i dont want to be grumpy nanna.I suppose we are all just going through the motions,because thats what seems to be expected,we sort of feel we have to.I think in my mind i will just treat it like another day,if thats possible,that way i might get through.Even the words Happy and Merry christmas just sound wrong.I received a christmas card from a lady who doesnt know i lost my husband so had both our names on,my heart sank ,no ones fault of course she didnt know.Take care Elaine,we all feel the same,thats for sure x
Dear Elaine, I agree, getting through Christmas and New Year will be so difficult. We have to continue for the sake of our family and especially our grandchildren. I only have one grandson, he is 9 years old, he adored his Grandad, called him “Haha” because he was always telling jokes and making everyone laugh ~ he passed away in November 2017 ~ we all miss him terribly, he was a beautiful man.
I think I know how you are feeling, I feel the same way.
I will be thinking of you and everyone else who shares their sad feelings on this community website, it does help to know someone is listening and understands. I’m Elaine too…
From one Elaine to another ~ Best wishes xx
Hi Elaine, I really dont know how Im going to get through Christmas. I cant bear to be in the shops with christmas music and cheery shop assistants when all I want to do is scream ‘but Ive lost my husband!’.
I lost my Chris unexpectedly just 5 mths ago when he was only 48. He was a lovely family man who loved nothing more than being with us all. He has left such a void in our lives. We will be spending christmas day with my mum, his parents and sister with our children. It will be good to all be together as we would on Christmas but he wont be there. He was such a big personality amongst us and loved so dearly, I am so dreading the day. X
I haven’t a clue what to expect this year. I’m going to Surrey for Christmas to stay with one of my daughters. I don’t see much of her but I went down in October when she suffered a miscarriage. I have two southern granddaughters but the oldest will be with her father and his new wife this year. My five grandsons all live in Yorkshire. My wife died in August and I’m grateful for the opportunity to be away from home for the first time ever at Christmas. My youngest granddaughter is just 3 and she will be excited to see me. Apparently she talks about me a lot. I just hope the weather is decent and we can get out often. I think they may be long days.
Having a quiet Christmas just me and my 2 boys . My family understand that’s what I want it’s just another day to me. Even talking about Christmas upsets me. I miss him so much.
We went out last year for the first time for Xmas dinner we enjoyed it so I will go with the family this year just as well cause it was always my husband that cooked the xmas dinner I just helped he loved in the kitchen I will just be glad when it is all over really hope you can enjoy as much as you can with your family
Life is so unfair isn’t it
Going through the motions is exactly it
Just think this time next month it will all be over…
Hi to you all
I am just passed the first year with out my husband he passed 26 November 2017 and I don’t really remember last Christmas it was all like a terrible dream .
My family are coming to me this year I live on the outer Hebrides I haven’t put my tree up yet but I will because my husband loved Christmas and my grandchildren will be here I honestly wish you all well and that you all get through this Christmas and new year what ever way you feel you can thinking of you all .
Hi Lily, I recall this time last year we were both on this forum. My husband passed on the 29th November 2017 and our postings were pretty well running parallel with each other. I stayed at my daughters for about 10 weeks and I think you were at your sons, and we were both dreading returning home on our own? Where did the year go? I’ve just managed to get through each day I think, some days okay and some not so good.
I hope you find comfort in being with your beloved family and I’m so pleased you will all be together.
I will be thinking of you too and send you best wishes Elaine x
Yes I remember we were on the forum running at the same time and you had stayed with your daughter yes I stayed with my son in Edinburgh.
As you say we’re had the year gone I to have good days and bad days but like you our beautiful husbands are never out of our thoughts or hearts .
It is so lovely to see your email I hope like me you with family this year and find some comfort with there love round you take care I’ll be thinking of you and all on this journey .
Best wishes Elaine xx
Hi Lily & Elaine
I too remember you both from last year. My husband died in October and I too was still in shock last Christmas. This year has gone by in a blur. I have had the added problems concerning my own health and adjusting to retirement. Now Christmas Is here again. I will be sharing it with my sons and brother in law. I recently got some good news concerning my health and so I can stop stressing about that and hopefully ‘get on with some things’ in the New Year. However, the shock of it all has taken its toll - I never ever plan ahead, I just take each day as it comes. It’s so hard being without Geoff. It’s still quite painful to look back so I try not to. I didn’t think when I first posted that I would still be on this site a year later but it’s so comforting to me to be in touch with people who really understand. Grieving is such a long, lonely journey. My thoughts will be with everyone as we try and get through this festive season.
I remember you talking about Geoff you spoke of him with such love and warmth I come on the forum and read all the different emails .
Sadly this forum keeps growing but it helps to talk to people who are going through the same journey in our own ways .
I am so pleased your health has improved and you have your loved ones round you at Christmas I know George is with me always and your Geoff is also with you take care and best wishes xx
Like your husband I love cooking. I think it appealed to my creative side. Unfortunately I seem to have lost interest and seem to live mostly on ready meals. I probably used to seek approval for my efforts and now there’s no one to give it.
It’s the same with my drawing and painting as I’m not getting any critical feedback. I’m currently trying to do a portrait of my wife from a photograph. There’s been six attempts so far and none of them are exactly right. I’m determined to get it right so I expect to be busy for some time. I’m quite surprised at the level of detail I’ve needed and how carefully I’ve had to study her. She wouldn’t have liked that level of scrutiny.
I know what you mean, I loved cooking too, but now its ready meals. No one to share the finished article with, so at the moment I don’t bother. I’m hoping to go back to cooking eventually, it was something I loved.
Your art sounds a wonderful project, I’m sure you will get it exactly right eventually.
Its all positive… Best wishes
Hello Yvonne, I remember you too. I recall we all tried to give each other a little bit of comfort in a nightmare situation. I’m sorry you have had health problems, me too. I think its not really surprising that your health suffers ~ all the stress. Pleased to hear things are a lot hopeful for you now.
Take care and so lovely to be in contact again ~ keep in touch and very best wishes
Thank you Lily and Elaine for your replies and best wishes it really does help.
My husband passed away very suddenly in May this year, we have two grown up children but no grandchildren. Really cannot face putting the tree up, we always did this together, nor can I write any cards without including his name. Our son and daughter will come to ours for Christmas Day, it will be very low key. I’m dreading New Year’s Eve. We always celebrated this as it’s my birthday. It’s going to be really tough to get through. Cannot even bring myself to buy a present for anyone. Ordering less meat at the butcher’s was another upsetting moment, the first Christmas card from a relative addressed to just me left me in tears all day. The radio remains switched off because the Christmas songs we used to sing together when larking about, are being played non-stop. The closer Christmas gets the more upset I am feeling. We always loved Christmas and New Year of course, this year I’m filled with sadness and dread.