I am new today to this site after reading some of your posts. I lost my husband in September after eighteen months of terrible dementia. I chose to spend today alone for Christmas Day although I had kind invitations. The day is not over yet as I find evenings the worst time . I have cried so much today. We had 41 years together and no children or family so he was everything to me. I know people say you don’t ever get over it but you get used to,it but that’s hard to believe right now. I go over and over why he had to suffer so much for so long . I cared for him at home for a year until it became impossible as he was high nursing dependency then I was with him constantly in Hospice and nursing home. I am so tired, so afraid, so lonely and can’t imagine the next part of my life. I’ve had a good career and people think I am strong but all I want is what I can’t have…the life I once had with the man I loved.

Sorry for the loss of your husband you don’t forget you learn to live with it my partner was only 48 when he passed suddenly in May. I want my old life back I feel cheated of our future. I was invited to my mum’s or sister but I chose to stay with my 2 boys and have a quiet day. It’s just another day to me. Your husband was lucky that you cared for him.
Take care
Christine x

Hello Dido
I am so sorry that you have lost your husband and are feeling so low. I wish I could reassure you but there are no easy answers .it is just a case of taking each hour and then each day as it comes and not letting yourself think too much about the future…head down and baby steps until you get your strength back and can think a little more clearly. I don’t know why some people have to suffer so much but your husband’s pain has now gone for ever …you did all that you could and the love you shared will stay with you. Please keep posting on here…everyone here understands and it does help a little to know that none of us are as alone as we often feel. X

Thank you so much. I have cried myself out today but it’s so comforting to know others understand.

Thank you for your kindness. I am sorry for your loss too.

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