I am an 86 year old retired professional man
I lost my beloved wife in the year 2018
We were together for 68 years and married for 61 of those years
I loved her so very much and I am struggling to find the will to continue without her by my side
I can’t help the way I am feeling, I am very lonely and I am too old to find a new way of life. This life situation eventually arrives at the doorstep of all old married couples and I realise there will be many people tonight feeling exactly how I feel tonight

After so long together few things in life, if any, can be more painful than losing the love of your life

Hi Chung,
That is a sweet post. I am happy for you that you had such an amazing life with your wife and sorrowful that you find yourself suffering because of it. Loss is the high price paid for such strong love. I am feeling particularly confused by our journey through this world. We just lost my father suddenly, a bit younger than you and your wife. My mom is so sad like you. She says the love that was built was so powerful to be torn away - what is the point? I have no answers for that and it leaves me confused. My dad was a beautiful person. We are tormented by the suddenness of the loss and the hole is so big - how could it be filled? Yet we go on. Please find something that brings you joy and try to focus on that - art, music, religion, tinkering, something… to fill the void. You will find companionship in shared pursuits.
Wishing you well,

Chung, I understand you so well.
After losing my lifelong partner, suddenly nearly 2 yeaes ago, I feel the same.
I’m not lonely but so completely alone…
We were at the start of our retirement together, now my life is so empty and meaningless .
It’s the lifetime of shared memories and companionship that I miss so much as I’m sure you do.
Even though I am younger than you, I can find no reason to carry on at all .
There was an article in The Mail this week about loneliness in older people.
You should be able to find it online.
Wishing you well at this sad time, Sadme

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Hello Chung, I am so sorry that you feel so lost and alone. It’s to be expected though after 68yrs together and with so much love which is a wonderful achievement by the way. Have you an interest/hobby that you could do even if you don’t feel like it. You know that saying. “You are never too old”. To find that will is tough but do try to find something in life that will suit you. Your love will never die and your wife will be by your side. Some of us keep a journal and write to our loved ones telling them how we feel.
Stay with the forum as you will find help and encouragement on a bleak day, we all understand exactly how you are feeling.
Good luck to you and god bless

Hello EllDubs
Thank you for your sincere, understanding post in response to my emotional situation.
You express with much feeling a Daughter’s anxiety, and confusion over the loss of a much loved and beautiful father
I have two Daughters and like you they are tormented with the loss of a loved one, plus the resulting concern they have and how best to support a grieving Mom or Dad who is left desperately feeling so alone
As you say in a long lasting loving marriage the hole left is so big and truthfully it cannot ever be filled. There is no answer.
Like me your Mom’s life and yours have been torn apart
Your Mom may feel like I do “I do not know who I am anymore”
For me living on holds nothing and seems so meaningless
God bless and Best wishes

Thank you for your post and your supportive words and understanding
Best wishes

I thank you for responding to my post
Thank you for your supportive words and your understanding
I am pleased I found the Forum
God bless

Hi Chung,
You and I are sympatico.
It is important for you to find something joyful because your family needs you and takes their life cues from you.

Hi there, I hope the forum brings you some comfort. I think only when you realise just how many people out there are suffering in exactly the same way does it become just a little easier.
Please don’t be afraid to grieve, it is what we have to do before we can find some peace. I have a cry every day and now accept that I will probably never stop. It is my tribute to my husband, my way of remembering him. It gives me relief. I know there are many of us that chat to our loved ones, I know I do all the time. Whatever you find to bring you a little comfort is just fine, there are no right and wrong in grief. It’s a hard road we have to travel that non of us really expected, I am not going to say it isn’t but you will find support on the forum.
Pat xxx

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