Combination of grief, disenfranchised grief and other lost

It is so isolating and frustrating grieving for my mum buried this Jan, founf out my absent father died a month before my mum, being childless not by choice (disenfranchised grief), being single in early 40s, friends few unable to support, unwell, no family where I live and other circumstances that would break anyone is exhausting. I exist in a world and society that doesn’t fit me, lacking empathy and compassion. Tips welcome how to steady the insanity of it all

My heart goes out to you Ewokeb420. Grief is so lonely and isolating, and the addition of your unfortunate life circumstances, surely make it worse for you. I am also single, no children, and often feel like an “outsider” in the world around me. My beloved little sister was my only family to speak of ( there is another sibling, but without going into it, suffice to say I might as well be alone). Like you, I have some friends, but they are busy with their families and lives, so I try not to burden them. Losing my precious sister was losing a vital part of myself, something I will never get back. I see you say you do not have family near by? Could you try emailing or texting them to let them know you need some support? Just a thought. I attend a support group at the hospital that treated my sister’s cancer, and where I would go with her for her treatments. Would a support group be an option for you?
You are dealing with a multitude of issues and need to take care of yourself. We can “break” under such stress, and it good that you are reaching out on this site. I have been receiving the empathy and compassion here, that I am not finding in my every day life. I know you will find the same. Keep posting and you will find warm and caring responses. You fit in here Ewokeb420, and in the eyes of other grievers who are also seeking just a word of kindness, to ease this pain. You are not alone.
Sister2 Xxx

Thank you for your kind words. It’s scary to reach out to all on this site. I don’t wish to sound like I’m seeking pity, just aware of the facts are that circumstances are very different from most as you clearly relate to.
I am so sorry for the lost of your sister who clearly meant tge world to you. Missing her sounds so hard for you. How have you found the support group been for you so far?
My nearest family is my twin sister with her husband and their 3 year old son. Alas they are also going through so much as my brother in law father died 2016, the family cat of 20 years plus died early last year and of my twin is also grieving for our mum. She also has similar health issues. Since my nephew things have changed and often I feel I loat my best friend.
Support group wise for me is a bit confusing as where and who to go to if suitable? Greiving or Stroke/Dementia or who knows where. I guess nervous as have been to some years ago. it seem to cause more harm than good yet that was back then. It would be good to have a group though.
Self care is something trying to do and get my head around after all the years of stress and trauma.
What do you do daily in the way of self care?
How do you manage the loneliness overall?
So glad that this site has given you the much needed empathy and compassion.

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